Affliction
by xenascully
Summary: Agent Tony Dinozzo's world is torn apart when he is forced against his will to do something incomprehensible...WARNING! Story contains *rape*. RE-VAMPED and REPOSTED.
1. Chapter 1

Okay...I've gone through and re-edited and kinda revamped this oldie. It's TIVA...so anyone that's got me on their watch-list and doesn't like that, fair warning. I started out a Tiva fan, back when it made sense. So I've got a few from my earlier NCIS-writing days.

My plan is to re-edit and re-upload as I have the time. Not sure if it'll jump back up the list or not. If so, here's why. lol


	2. Chapter 2

Affliction

**Rated: M. for violence, rape, adult situations...**

**Summary: **Agent Tony DiNozzo's world is torn apart when he is forced against his will to do something incomprehensible...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters of NCIS; but the villains happen to belong to my imagination.

**A/N: **Set far before the events leading up to Ziva staying behind in Tel Aviv... You know, when Tiva made sense.

Originally posted 2/2010. Edited and reposted, chapter for chapter...

*~.~*

As the ambulance pulled away and he knew Ziva was going to be safe, Tony ran... Even as Gibbs called after him, he kept going...kept running. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't want the other EMTs to help him; to bandage his bloody wounds. He didn't deserve their help. Not after what he'd done. So he ran. And at the first fire-escape ladder he came to, he started his way to the top.

Gibbs couldn't understand why his senior field agent had unexpectedly taken off. He and McGee, with Abby's help, had finally found them; saved them. And now Tony was running. As he chased after him, he saw the younger man start to climb the side of the building and knew he could catch up.

Tony was already on top of the roof when Gibbs reached the ladder. And when the older man finally reached the top, he hadn't expected to see him standing near the edge, looking down...

"DiNozzo..." he called, cautiously. Tony spun around, a bit surprised that he'd been found so quickly. "What are you doing?" Gibbs saw raw pain and anguish written on his face. Then defeat, as he broke down in front of him, thwarted from his plans to jump over the edge of the building. He wouldn't do that in front of Gibbs...

His body crumbled to sit on the on the concrete below him as he hid his face behind his hands.

"Tony... What happened?" Gibbs asked as he knelt beside him, unsure of what to say or do.

"He made me..." he squeaked as he attempted to bring his sobs to a halt. He swallowed a painful lump, "He made me rape her..." his sobs rekindled.

"What?"

"He made me rape Ziva..." he laid his head down on the concrete roof and balled up on his side.

Tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

**4 hours earlier...**

They had just left the bar together. The whole team had met up for drinks after the close of a very long case. Ziva had had a little more than she realized she could handle anymore. And since the three younger agents had carpooled, Gibbs called a cab.

"Make sure she gets home, DiNozzo," Gibbs told Tony as he and Ziva piled into the back of a cab.

"No problem, Boss," he replied, a bit tipsily. "We can drop her off first."

"See you Monday!" McGee yelled as they pulled away. "Boss," he turned to lead agent, slightly stumbling. "I think Abby and I have had a little too much to drink. I rode here with Tony and Ziva, and Abby will probably need to share a cab with me, which would be ridiculous since we're on opposite sides of town. So can you give her a ride, maybe?"

"I can take you to your place, too, McGee," he said Abby walked out of the bar onto the sidewalk. "Come on, Abs. Takin' you both home," he headed to his car.

"Oo! Are we going to your house for a night cap?" she asked excitedly as she made her way over to the car, linking arms with Tim.

"I didn't say that," he smiled, amused at the slight slur in her voice.

"Yeah, but we could, right? You're not even buzzed yet, Gibbs," she mentioned.

"It's not a contest, Abby."

"Oh, that's a great idea!" she said as she opened the back door and slid in. Gibbs shook his head and smiled before he got in the driver's seat.

"Boss, your phone's ringing," McGee said lazily as he laid back in the passenger seat.

"I know," he furrowed his brow in his direction. "It's in _my_ pocket, McGee," he pulled the phone out, not actually having heard it until the younger man pointed it out, and answered it. "Gibbs."

_"Agent Gibbs..." _an electronically jumbled voice sounded over the line.

"Who is this?"

_"We have two of your agents."_

"_Who_ has them?" he asked as he held his hand up for the others, who had begun giggling and chattering, to be quiet. "What agents?"

_"The agents who left the bar with you. You put them in a cab." _

Gibbs felt a twinge in his chest."Why? What do you want?"

_"We need them...so that we can make a trade."_

"For who?"

_"For what, you mean. The case you closed today...we want the evidence."_

"Who is this?"

_"That is unimportant. What you should be more concerned about is the well-being of your colleagues. For every hour you keep me waiting, they will be punished."_

"Wait! I don't have access to that evidence anymore. It's been sent out."

_"That's disappointing..." _said the cryptic voice on the other line. _"I'll call you in an hour. Hopefully, you can hunt it down by then..." _the call ended.

"Hold on! Hello?" he pulled his phone down in front of him, looking at the screen.

"Boss? Who was that?" McGee asked, quickly sobering.

"Whoever it was, they've got Ziva and DiNozzo..."

*~.~*

Ziva groaned as she sat up from the floor in the dim room. She heard Tony groan beside her and she turned toward him. "Tony, are you okay?"

"Yeah..." he pushed himself up, rubbing the back of his head.

"Where are we?" she asked as she scanned the slightly lit room. It was void of any furniture and the walls were bare. The floor was slick black tile covered with a thin layer of dirt.

"I dunno... Last thing I remember is getting in the cab." Suddenly a door was flung open in front of them, and two masked men grabbed Ziva by the arms and dragged her out of the room. "Hey!" Tony shouted as he tried to fight through the next set of men who were pushing him back to stay in the room. "Where are you taking her?!" But the door slammed shut on him, leaving him alone. "Hey!" he yelled, pounding on the door, trying with every ounce of his strength to open it. Then the light went out in the room...

His knees dropped to the floor in the thick darkness and he pressed his ear against the door, straining to hear what was happening on the other side. At first, it was deafening silence. He closed his eyes and held his breath as he tried to listen. Then he heard her...she was screaming.

"Ziva!" he yelled, his voice cracking. And then he was doing everything in his power in attempt to knock down the door. "Ziva!"

tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

"You have to give me more time!" Gibbs shouted in his phone. McGee and Abby were in the bullpen with him; McGee frantically trying to trace the call...figure out who this was.

_"I told you...every hour I wait, they are punished. I will call you in another hour." _The call ended.

"Godamnit!" Gibbs yelled. "McGee!" he looked over at him.

"Didn't get a trace, Boss. Working on it."

"He wants the evidence from the Langly case. Go over what information we have and see if you can find out who this could be!"

"On it, Boss," McGee shot up from his desk and to the elevator and Abby followed him. Gibbs' hands went to his hair in frustration. Right now...something bad was happening to his agents...and there was nothing he could do to stop it...

*~.~*

Ziva lay on the ground surrounded by shadows of her captor's henchmen. For Tony's sake, she had tried desperately not to scream when they'd tasered her a second time. She hadn't expected _herself_ to scream. She'd been trained to withstand pain in silence. But this type of pain was one that also took away her control. And she'd been drinking. And when she heard Tony frantic on the other side of the door, it somehow hit her even harder. She had never heard that kind of fear in Tony's voice.

But now she was simply weak from the electricity they'd run through her body. She didn't have the energy to lift her head. She saw someone coming toward her and leaning over her.

"I'm sorry we were forced to do that," the creepy voice told her. She cringed as he continued to speak to her, getting closer to her face. "Your boss failed the first hour I gave him."

She grew nauseous when she felt his hand on her face and she flinched. "My you are a pretty one," he said. His hand slid down the front of her. "I'll have to...come up with something special for later." She spat at his face. His eyes closed in frustration as he wiped the spittle from his cheek. Then he back-handed her, leaving a cut across her cheek from his ring. She'd expected it. She made no sound.

He stood and walked away. Then the shadows closed in around her again...

*~.~*

Tony was on his knees behind the door, his head resting against the cool metal as he caught his breath. Sweat dripped from his forehead and tears stung his eyes. He hadn't heard Ziva in over five minutes now and it was killing him to wonder what could have happened beyond that door.

Then he heard footsteps coming close and he stood, backing away from the door as the dim light turned back on in the room. Even in its low-intensity, the light made him flinch. Then the door opened and they flung Ziva inside, slamming the door behind her.

Her body fell into his and it knocked him off balance. He caught her, but fell back to the floor with her in his arms, cushioning her fall. Then he turned and set her gently down beside him. "Ziva?" he brushed stray hairs from her face.

"I am okay," she replied too quickly.

"What'd they do to you?" he said as his fingers gently held her face for him to see the cut on her cheek. "I heard you screaming..."

She summoned all her strength and sat herself up, pushing her back against the wall. "They tasered me," she explained. "It was painful, but not damaging. Their form of torture is psychological terror. I will be fine."

He breathed a sigh of relief, but couldn't shake her screams from his mind. "Did they say anything? Tell you what the hell they want from us?"

"Gibbs knows we are here," she said. "We are some kind of playing card in this man's scheme."

"You're bleeding," he said, concern washing his face as he moved toward her.

She looked down at her shirt where he'd been looking. "It is just the taser hook wounds, Tony. Unless you have a first aid kit in your pocket, there is nothing to do about it. They are simple flesh wounds...nothing more."

He settled next to her and his heart sank a little when her head rested on his shoulder. He slid his arm around her shoulder and held her gently to him. "You sure you're okay?" he barely whispered.

He felt her breathe deeply. "I do not like the way he touched me," she whispered, her voice shaky. His hand at his other side balled into a fist; anger flowing fresh through his veins.

"I have to get you out of here..."

*~.~*

"We have twenty minutes before he calls again," Gibbs told Director Vance who came in as soon as Gibbs called him. "There's gotta be a way to get that evidence back here."

"It's in transit to Manhattan, Agent Gibbs. I can try to call the company that's transporting it, but even if we contacted them, it'd be hours before it could get back here."

"That's not acceptable," he said, "My agents' lives could be at stake. There's gotta be something..."

"Boss," McGee interrupted. They both turned to him. "There's an audio file being received on your cell."

"From who?" he asked.

"Ziva's number," he replied, hesitation and worry in his eyes.

Gibbs took the phone from McGee and waited for the upload to complete, then pressed the play button.

_"This is to show you that I am holding up my side of the arrangement," _said the cryptic voice he'd spoken with earlier. And suddenly the room was filled with screams...Ziva's screams. Gibbs' face became pale as the audio file continued to play. And then it came to a sudden end...

"Was that…?" McGee's unusually shaky voice wouldn't allow him to complete the thought. Gibbs looked over at him, the look in his eyes was all he needed for his answer.

"I'll see what I can do," Vance said as he headed upstairs.

*~.~*

Ziva had drifted to sleep on Tony's shoulder. It seemed as though another hour had crept by. His eyes were growing heavy, and all had been quiet. But just as he began to drift asleep, the door was suddenly swung open again. Determined to keep Ziva safe, he shielded her with his body. She woke with a start at his movement. But it wasn't her they'd come to get this time.

"No!" she yelled as they dragged Tony out and slammed the door behind them. "Tony!" she slammed her palms against the cool metal in vain. Then the room was washed in darkness...

*~.~*

Gibbs was staring at his cell when it began to ring in the bullpen. He answered it immediately. "We have the evidence in transit here now," he said.

_"In transit? That wasn't the deal. When you have what I'm asking you for, the punishments will stop."_

"What deal? No one shook on a deal! I said I've got the evidence. It's on its way here!"

_"I'm sorry, Agent Gibbs, that you don't understand the game...You'll receive another audio file shortly..." _the call ended.

"Damnit!" his fist hit the top of his desk.

"Boss..."

"What, McGee?" he asked, frustration still thick in his voice.

"If he sends the audio file from Ziva's line again, I might be able to narrow down the proximity of where they're being held," he looked at him for approval.

"Do it," he said flatly. And he stood to head upstairs to Vance's office.

*~.~*

"It's one in the morning," Vance said as Gibbs entered his office. "I take it you got another call."

"How long before the truck gets back here?" he asked.

"Earliest it'll get here is six."

"That's too long. Too much time."

"What would you have me do, Gibbs? Call in the National Guard to chopper it in here?"

"Why the hell not?!"

"Getting that evidence to them faster isn't guaranteeing we'll get those agents back alive," he said. Gibbs glared at him. "You know as well as I how these things end. If you wanna get them outta there, you're gonna have to find them. So I suggest instead of whining to me about how fast the box gets here, you get the hell on the trail to track them down." Gibbs' phone made a sound and he was forced away from his glare-war with Vance. He looked down at the audio file uploading and glanced up at Vance before storming out of the office.

"Upload is coming from DiNozzo's line, McGee," he shouted as he descended the staircase. The audio began to play automatically after it was finished uploading, and it stopped him in the middle of the last set of stairs.

It sounded like a whip...like lashings...four cracks, each followed by struggled grunting screams from Tony. Then the voice.

_"Half a punishment...a sign of good faith that you're coming through..." _and the audio ended.

Gibbs sunk down onto the step behind him. "Did you track it?" he called to McGee without looking away from the dark sky out the window before him.

"Wasn't long enough, Boss... I'm sorry..." McGee closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. It was difficult to hear his team suffering, and he felt helpless. He wanted to find them, but he didn't know what to do. "Boss, I'm gonna go see if Abby's found anything..."

*~.~*

Ziva was curled up in the corner of the room. She'd been there since she started hearing Tony's cries; the sound of the bullwhip cracking against his flesh. She'd hugged her knees tight against her chest as she waited there for it to stop. Helpless tears streaked her face.

But then there was nothing. No sound at all coming from the other side of the door. She held her breath. And suddenly the lights came on and she shot to her feet, ready to fight her captors. The door flew open and Tony was hurled into the room, and it shut just as quickly. "Tony..." she went to his limp form on the floor. His bloody back facing her. His breath was labored...his skin dampened with sweat.

She moved around to the front of him and his eyes focused on hers. "I'm okay," his words came out as more of a breathy grunt as he tried to ease the look of fear on her face. "Johnny Rico in Starship Troopers...he got ten. I only got four. I can handle it," he gave her a small smile, but it didn't stop the stinging in her eyes.

"Can you sit up?" she asked him.

"Just give me a minute..." he said, his gaze drifting to the floor in front of him. She breathed calming breaths as if she could somehow will him to do the same. He was so motionless and she realized he might not be capable of moving any time soon. So, instead, she decided to lay down beside him, facing him. She put a gentle hand on the side of his face as his eyes met hers again.

"They only come every hour," she whispered. "Sleep..." she stroked his face. His eyes grew tired again, and his hand reached for the one folded in front of her and grasped it, as if it meant they couldn't take her away again...

*~.~*

"It's not my fault, McGee!" Abby said as she paced the floor in the lab. "Something really screwed up with the program and I had to reload! It's gonna take at least a few more minutes till it's finished..."

"We don't have a few minutes to spare, Abby!" he said frustratedly. "You-" he hesitated, "You didn't hear them...screaming..." he was looking off in the distance then. Abby stopped and looked at him as he swallowed. She took the few steps needed to stand right before him. "They're gonna do it again," he looked at her, "If we don't find them soon. They're gonna do something horrible to them every hour."

"Tim..." she looked at him with glassy eyes. Then the computer started making beeping noises and they both looked over. "It's finished," she said, relieved, and started bringing up the program. "Now I just need to gain access to the surveillance camera outside of the bar where the cab picked up Tony and Ziva." Tim pulled a chair closer to where she was working at looked at the screen at she worked.

*~.~*

"Gibbs," the said lead agent answered his desk phone.

_"Just got a call back from the cab company that picked up your agents," _Vance said on the other line. _"Said they got a call from the local PD saying they found one of their cars in an alley two blocks from where they got picked up. Driver's dead."_

He hung up and opened his desk drawer to retrieve his gun and badge, then stood and made his way to the elevator...

*~.~*

"I've got the cab, Timmy," Abby said as she paused the surveillance feed.

"Can you get a shot of the license plate?"

"Zooming in now," she highlighted the plate number and enhanced.

"I'll call Gibbs," he said as he pulled out his cell and dialed. After the first ring, Gibbs picked up on the other line. "Boss, we've got the plate numbers for the cab that picked up Tony and Ziva. I can text it to you-"

_"Don't bother, McGee. Already found it..."_

*~.~*

Gibbs stood at the back of the cab in the alleyway as local PD swarmed the scene. "I need you to see if you can access any surveillance feed on the intersection of Fifth Avenue and Langdon," he told McGee over the phone. "And tell Abby to prepare to meet me in the garage when we get this cab over there."

He hung up the phone as he was approached by an officer. "Sir, we've got a tow on the way. Soon as they get here, we'll tell them to get it to NCIS. We haven't been able to reach our M.E though."

"Don't worry about that," Gibbs said as he saw Ducky pull up. "I've got it taken care of."

"Sorry, Jethro," Ducky said as he made his way toward him. "I got here as fast as I could. You sounded urgent on the phone," he stopped in front of him. "What about this cab driver warrants an NCIS investigation?"

"This could be the cab that Tony and Ziva were kidnapped from two and a half hours ago."

Ducky furrowed his brow. "Kidnapped? By whom?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out, Duck. I need to know if this driver had anything to do with it."

Ducky moved to the driver door and opened it. "This man was shot in the head. Probably within a few feet of the windshield," he looked over at the hole in the glass. "Jethro, this is a bit odd."

"What's that?" he asked, crouching down next to the door.

"From what I saw of the outside of the cab, it didn't look as though they'd been forced off the road by another vehicle," he looked through the divider at the back seat. "I wonder...why didn't they fight back?"

"Still not completely sure this is the cab we're lookin' for," Gibbs stood and opened the back door, examining the panel on the inside of it. "Inside handles and locks were removed," he said.

"Seems as though the driver would have known about such a customization."

Gibbs spotted something that caught the light from the streetlamp, sticking out from the crack in the bottom of the seat. He reached over and picked it up, holding it in the light better.

"According to the liver temperature, this man has been dead for over four hours. Which means you are probably right, Jethro. This must not be the right cab."

"No, this is it, Duck," he said, holding up what he'd found. Ducky looked, and immediately understood. He had found Ziva's Star of David necklace...

tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

"I think they have stopped bleeding," Ziva said as she gently dabbed at the slashes on Tony's back with a piece of her sleeve she'd torn off.

"Doesn't really hurt anymore," he lied. "How are ___you_ feeling?"

"I am fine," she said as he turned back to sit against the wall next to her. "But I can not sleep."

"I can't either. Wonder how long it'll take for them to find us," he said, and suddenly the door burst open and he threw his body in front of Ziva. "You leave her alone!" he shouted as the men entered and stalked toward them. "Don't take her! Take me!"

"Tony, no!" she yelled, but the men pulled at her anyway.

"No! Please leave her alone! I'll take her place!" he yelled, but they shut the door. "Ziva!" he panicked; his hands lay still on the door knowing there was nothing he could do. His forehead pressed against the cold metal and he squeezed his eyes closed as fear ran through his body.

But then he heard them returning to the door. Surprised, he took a few steps back. When the door opened, he expected them to take him and leave Ziva, but Ziva wasn't with them. They grabbed his arms and pulled him out into the darkened room. He felt them let go of him and he fell to the floor.

A dim spot light turned on over him revealing Ziva at his side on the floor. "You okay?" he asked, turning toward her. She nodded once, and they tried to peer out through the darkness. But the only thing they saw was of table within the parameter of the light around them. He stood. "What is this?" Tony yelled.

"The arena, Agent DiNozzo," said a voice from the darkness.

"Are we putting on a show?" he joked.

"As a matter of fact, yes."

Tony squinted at the response, looking around the room. "Oh-ho-kay," he laughed. "Alright, I get it! We're being Punk'd, right? Hidden cameras?"

"This isn't a joke," the voice rang out. Tony's smile faded.

"What is it, then?" he asked. There was a silence. Tony turned to look at Ziva who stood up beside him.

"This is where you're given a choice."

"Are one of the choices 'going home'? 'Cause that's the one I pick...definitely," Tony said with seriousness on his face.

"You have two choices," the voice was undeterred by his comment. "The first, you fuck her, and we watch."

Tony swallowed, astonished and slightly confused by the man's suggestion. "Look...I know you didn't go to all this trouble for a personal porn show," he looked at Ziva who was equally taken back by what the voice had said.

"The second, " the voice continued, "I fuck her, and you watch." Tony bit down on his tongue. "Personally, I wouldn't mind the latter." He felt Ziva's hand on his arm and he turned to look at her. There was apprehension in her eyes.

"I don't...I-" he stumbled over his words. "I don't want to hurt her..." he finally told the voice.

"It's you or me," the voice said. "And ___I_ will not be gentle."

"Tony," Ziva barely whispered. His eyes met hers. "I do not want him to touch me again," she told him.

"Zee, he's asking me to rape you. I can't...I- don't ask me to hurt you," he shook his head and his eyes pleaded with hers.

"It is you or him. Please," her eyes pleaded with him. "You will not hurt me," she blinked back tears. His hands were shaking and she took them in hers. "I am not afraid," she whispered, the shaking in her voice betraying her statement.

"Yes you are," he whispered and his chin chattered as though he were freezing.

The sinister voice called out from the shadows, "You have three minutes to make your decision. I have a phone call to make."

*~.~*

"The dead cab driver wasn't the guy who was in the cab when it picked up Tony and Ziva," Abby said to Gibbs and McGee. "There was another set of prints on the steering wheel. I've been running them through AFIS but I haven't gotten a hit yet."

"We don't have time, Abs," Gibbs said, "He's gonna call any minute."

"I know, Gibbs. That's why I ran the substance that was left with the prints. It's oil."

"Oil on a cab steering wheel isn't surprising, Abby," he said.

"Normally, I would agree. But the oil I found is specifically engineered for high power diesel trucks. The guy we're looking for was working in some kind of garage," she said as she pulled up some information on the screen. "McGee found the surveillance feed from the intersection near where the cab was found, and we didn't see the exchange happen, but there were only three vehicles that took that particular road around that time."

"We ran all three plates," McGee chimed in. "One of the registered owners stands out," he clicked on the file and a VA driver's license came up. "Edward Yates."

"One of the suspects in the Langly case," Gibbs concluded.

"And current owner of a truck and SUV mechanics shop ten miles from here."

"Let's go, McGee."

*~.~*

Tony stood in front of Ziva, his heart going a mile a minute, pounding in his chest with fear. They were really going to make him do this. He couldn't hurt her; he couldn't live with himself if he hurt her...

"Tony," she said and she put her hands on his chest. "Tony, look at me." His eyes focused on hers. "It is just you and me. Pretend no one else is here. Just you and me." His eyes became red. Her hand went up to his face, stroking it lightly with her thumb. He mimicked her actions with his own hands, but his mouth frowned... He didn't want to hurt her.

"Get with it already," the voice rang from the darkness. Tony clamped his eyes shut as the man's voice only reminded him again where they were. "Take off her pants and sit her on the table." Tony felt himself being pulled forward and he opened his eyes. Ziva was leading them to the table.

"Ziva..." he protested. "As much as I've...wanted to..."

"Tony, do what he says," she whispered to him.

"Zee," his eyes looked out into the darkness. She had to make him focus. It meant their survival. It meant her having some kind of choice in all of this. She closed the space between them and pulled his face to hers, kissing him.

"Just you and me, Tony," she whispered and kissed him again. He closed his eyes, willing himself to believe her. His hands went to her head and he returned the kiss. She took his hands and lowered them to the top of her pants.

His head pulled slightly away and his eyes darted around. This would be more difficult then she'd thought. Though his concern for her was endearing and heartfelt, if he wouldn't give in, she would be in much greater danger of being hurt by their captor.

"Tony," she whispered to him so he'd look her in the eyes. And when he did, she helped his fingers to grip the top of her pants and begin lowering them. He swallowed again as he let go and they fell to the floor. She held his hands as she stepped out of them, her shoes coming off with them. He glanced down and then at her eyes again.

"You..." he hesitated to ask her, and she realized he was questioning why she hadn't worn panties. The corner of her mouth turned up at him. And suddenly, as if the grin had pulled him into the bubble she was hoping to bring him into, he smirked at her.

"What makes you think I ever wear them?" she asked. His face relaxed with her.

"Enough with the pillow talk," the man's voice said from the shadows. And she watched Tony's face once again furrow with uncertainty; his eyes becoming distant again.

"Just you and me," she took his face in her hands again and made him look at her. Her hands slid from his face down his chest and to the button on his pants. He flinched.

"It's not supposed to be this way," he told her, his voice shaking as she opened the button. His hands went to hers. "I don't wanna hurt you, Ziva..."

"You will not," she brushed her face against his cheek as she lowered the zipper. His hands remained on hers as he hid his face in her shoulder. "Just you and me," she slipped her hand into the front of his pants, cupping him through his boxers, and his breath hitched at the contact.

He tried to fight the arousal she stirred within him. He tried...but he was quickly growing against her hand. He wanted to pull her hands away. But they went of their own volition to her elbows, and his hips involuntarily thrust into her palm. "Zee... I'm sorry," he started to pull away.

"Tony," she pulled him back to her and kissed him again. His eyes closed as she kissed him with such passion. He was lost in her, if only for a few moments. She pulled him from his boxers after she pulled the offending material down a bit.

"Put her on the table already," the voice said. Tony pulled away and searched the shadows.

"Help me, Tony," Ziva called to him as she backed up to the table. Hesitantly, he stepped to her, putting his hands on her hips and lifting her to sit on the edge of the table. He was shaking even more now and she tried to reassure him. Her hands went to his waist and she put her face close to his, trying to draw his attention back to her. His eyes met hers but darted away. "Tony, you have to," she tried to hold her tears at bay as she inwardly cursed these people who were forcing this upon them. Tony shook his head. "I want you to," she told him in a whisper.

"You're just saying that. You don't want this..."

"Please, Tony," she nudged him forward with her leg and the tip of him entered her. They both gasped. His eyes shot to hers. She wasn't ready for him, he could tell. "Just do it," she said.

"I don't wanna hurt you..."

"Tony..." her eyes focused past him and he felt the barrel of a gun at his back. He froze.

"Do it and I will tell my man to back down," the voice said. Tony's eyes bore into hers, and the gun pressed harder into his back, forcing him to enter her all the way.

His hands were on her hips; his head next to hers. He felt her hands grip his sides and ball the material of his shirt in her fists. In that moment, he knew he had caused her pain.

"Move!" the voice shouted.

"Just- please!" Tony pulled his head away as he shouted, "Please just give her a second."

"I am fine, Tony," she said and turned his face to look back at her. "Do as he says." She pulled him into an embrace, holding his head to her shoulder, and nudged her hips against him willing him to comply. Her efforts caused him to twitch inside her, and his hips thrust back against her. He felt, at this point, like he no longer had control over his body. Her legs loosened, allowing him to pull out slightly, then nudged him forward again.

The feeling took him over and it filled him with shame. He began thrusting in a steady rhythm and felt the barrel of the gun ease away from him altogether. His arms wrapped around her, squeezing her against his body as he felt himself losing control. Her mouth was at his ear and he heard her breaths come in short bursts.

He felt his inevitable release coming, and his thrusts became harder. She heard the guttural noises that started to come with his breaths. He felt her hands clench tightly at the shirt on his back. He knew he was hurting her, but regardless of everything, his breath hitched wildly and Ziva felt the heat of his release inside her.

He was so ashamed. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." he said over and over like a mantra in her ear. "Ziva, I'm so sorry...oh god," he cried. She pulled her face away to see his. His eyes were red and tears streaked down each cheek.

He couldn't look at her...he pulled away, pulling his boxers and pants back into place before collapsing to his knees. She scooted off of the table, slipping her pants back on, and went to kneel next to him.

But suddenly the men were surrounding them. And right as the two agents began to panic, they heard a noise in the distance and the room went still. They heard a loud bang come from outside and the men became distracted.

Ziva took her chance and began to fight.

She took out the man closest to her and knocked down another. Tony stood to take her lead. He grabbed a gun from a distracted guard and knocked him out with it, then turned to shoot one of them. Ziva was knocked out and fell down beside his feet and Tony shot the man who had hit her.

The room was suddenly filled with light. The remaining men had dropped their weapons, and Tony saw Gibbs and McGee holding their guns pointed at the men. They were shouting something, but he couldn't hear them. He looked down at Ziva who was unconscious at his feet. He picked her up in his arms and quickly made his way toward his colleagues.

Police officers were cuffing the men who had held them captive. Gibbs and McGee holstered their weapons and helped lead him out with Ziva toward the ambulance.

To Tony, nothing seemed real. He couldn't hear them.

He watched the EMTs as they loaded her into the ambulance. Then all he could think was that he needed to die...

He ran...

Tbc...


	6. Chapter 6

_As the ambulance pulled away and he knew Ziva was going to be safe, Tony ran... Even as Gibbs called after him, he kept going...kept running. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't want the other EMTs to help him; to bandage his bloody wounds. He didn't deserve their help. Not after what he'd done. So he ran. And at the first fire-escape ladder he came to, he started his way to the top._

_ Gibbs couldn't understand why his senior field agent had unexpectedly taken off. He and McGee, with Abby's help, had finally found them; saved them. And now Tony was running. As he chased after him, he saw the younger man start to climb the side of the building and knew he could catch up. _

_ Tony was already on top of the roof when Gibbs reached the ladder. And when the older man finally reached the top, he hadn't expected to see him standing near the edge, looking down..._

_ "DiNozzo..." he called, cautiously. Tony spun around, a bit surprised that he'd been found so quickly. "What are you doing?" Gibbs saw raw pain and anguish written on his face. Then defeat, as he broke down in front of him, thwarted from his plans to jump over the edge of the building. He wouldn't do that in front of Gibbs..._

_ His body crumbled to sit on the on the concrete below him as he hid his face behind his hands._

_ "Tony... What happened?" Gibbs asked as he knelt beside him, unsure of what to say or do._

_ "He made me..." he squeaked as he attempted to bring his sobs to a halt. He swallowed a painful lump, "He made me rape her..." his sobs rekindled._

_ "What?"_

_ "He made me rape Ziva..." he laid his head down on the concrete roof and balled up on his side._

Gibbs swiped a hand down his face, closing his eyes for a moment to absorb his distraught agent's words as he'd crumbled on the rooftop. "Tony, this isn't your fault," he said softly. But when he opened his eyes he saw Tony was standing again, looking over the edge.

"Go," he told his boss.

"I'm not gonna let you jump, Tony," he said as he stood.

"I'm not gonna jump," he said as his head lowered. "Go and make sure she's okay."

"You come with me," he started to reach his hand toward him. But Tony suddenly turned around, aiming the gun he'd taken from the henchman at Gibbs.

"Just go!" he yelled, his face red with anguish.

Gibbs took a cautious step back. "Tony, I know you're confused and hurting..."

"No... You. Don't. Know..." new tears streamed his face.

"You need to go to the hospital."

"I'm not the one who's hurt!" he yelled; his voice rasped, cracking as it gave out.

"What're you gonna do when I go?" Gibbs yelled back.

Tony blinked. "I'm gonna leave," he told him. "And you're gonna call me," his breath hitched as his sobs threatened to continue, "And tell me if she's okay." His eyes were pleading with him.

Gibbs swallowed."You got a phone?" he asked. Tony squinted in thought.

"No," he watched Gibbs reach down to his side, and Tony's other hand settled on his gun, nervously. Gibbs looked up at him as he continued and pulled out his cell, placing it on top of a metallic vent that stood next to him. Tony understood the gesture and lowered one of his hands.

Gibbs turned to walk back toward the fire escape and Tony began to lower the gun. As Gibbs lowered down the ladder, he gazed up as DiNozzo grabbed the cell phone and started toward the side of the building where there was a second fire escape.

Gibbs hurried down the ladder as fast as his feet would allow, then took off running, gun drawn, to the side of the building. But when he reached it, Tony wasn't there. Panicked, he continued to the other side, half-expecting to see his broken body lying on the ground. But he wasn't there either. He scanned the distance all around where he stood, before running around to the front of the building.

"Boss!" McGee said as he came around the corner. "I came looking for you. Where's Tony?"

Gibbs' brow furrowed as he scanned the area around them, "I don't know..."

*~.~*

"Jethro," Ducky came out of the room in the E.R and saw him pacing the hall.

"Duck, how is she?" he asked as he approached the older man.

"She's shaken. But she insists that she is fine. She's been asking for Tony. Did you find him?"

"He ran off," he said, looking down at the floor for a moment. "I need to talk Ziva." He walked past him and opened the door to her room, quietly entering and shutting the door behind him.

"Gibbs," she sat up in the bed, still in her worn clothing. "Where is Tony?" Gibbs made his way toward her, carefully sitting down on the side of the bed.

"Found him standing out on a ledge."

Her eyes grew wide. "What?"

"He told me what happened," he squinted, sympathetic to what he could only imagine had happened to her.

Her face showed hesitance; embarrassment. "What did he tell you?" she asked in a quiet voice.

He looked down, unsure of how to respond. He felt her hand take his and he looked back up at her. "Told me...what they made him do to you."

"He did not have a choice, Gibbs," she defended. "It was Tony or...or that monster. I _made_ him do it." Tears formed in her eyes.

"Are you hurt? Did they do a rape kit?"

"No. I did not tell them," she squeezed his hand, "He did not hurt me."

"_He_ thinks he did," he told her.

"Where is he?" she pleaded.

"I don't know," he shook his head.

"We must find him," she stood from the bed and stepped into her shoes.

"You should stay here, Ziva," he said, standing as well.

"I cannot stay here, Gibbs," she looked at him with glassy worried eyes, "You did not see his face when..." she didn't finish her sentence, and he detected the pain in her face. Then it changed to realization. "You left him...standing on the ledge?"

"I left him 'cause he had a gun on me," he told her, and her brow furrowed. "And because he said he wouldn't jump. He climbed down off of that building, Ziva. He didn't jump. But I lost him." She didn't know how to respond. Her eyes darted around the air between them. "He wanted me to make sure you were okay. And to call him."

"Where?"

"Gave him my phone," he said. "Maybe _you _should be the one to talk to him...if you think you can..."

She walked up to him and looked up into his eyes. "What Tony did...was not rape. If anything-" her breath hitched in her throat, "I...I raped _him_...so that monster would not rape me," she broke down in front of him, and he caught her in his arms before she could fall. He held her as she sobbed, but she quickly pulled away. "I need to find him," she said as she rushed past him and out the door.

"Ziva," he yelled after her as he came out the door. She stopped and turned without looking at his face. "Let us help you," he said softly. She looked around her. Ducky and McGee were now standing in the waiting room watching them, and ready to help. She looked at Gibbs for a moment, then nodded. "McGee, call Abby. Tell her to keep an eye out for DiNozzo if he should happen to go there. Duck...would you mind going by his apartment? See if he went there?" Ducky nodded. "And call me-" he realized he didn't have his cell, "Damnit...I need a phone."

"Boss," McGee held out two of them, "Tony and Ziva's phones; picked them up at the scene."

"They need to be run through evidence."

"Already lifted the prints, Boss."

Gibbs squinted at him in thought for just a moment, then took the phones. Tim looked at Ziva with concern. Her screams were still fresh in his mind, and he was relieved that she was okay. But as her eyes briefly met his, he saw something was somehow different...

"Tony's got my phone," Gibbs said to them. "You wanna call me, call Tony's number." He handed Ziva's phone to her. "You're with me," he told her.

*~.~*

When Tony didn't answer the phone, Gibbs sent him a text telling him that Ziva was okay.

"Tony would not go to NCIS," Ziva said as she rode in the passenger seat of his car. "If he does not want to be found, he would have gone to a motel."

"He didn't have any money on him," Gibbs reminded her. "Woulda had to stop home first. If he did, Ducky will call us and we can get Abby to run his cards." When she was silent, he glanced over at her and noticed her eyes were closed. "You okay?"

"Please pull over," she requested. He immediately complied and she threw open the door and ran out. He threw the car into park and went out after her, but she stopped; one hand holding onto the trunk of a tree as she lurched over and threw up on the ground under it.

"Ziver..." he went to her and put his hand on her back as her heaving turned into sobbing. "I'm sorry..."

"I love him," she cried and Gibbs swallowed at the open confession as she continued. "And now he will never look at me the same after what I have done."

"I think he's thinkin' the same thing, Ziva," he told her and she straightened and turned to him.

"Then he _will_ try to end his life," she barely whispered as her eyes bore into his.

"Don't say that," he said, tears forming in his own eyes. "Please don't say that." The fear in his eyes made her flinch. She swallowed and shook her head as an apology; an affirmation, and she hugged him around his middle. The realization hit her that he was terrified, and it made her heart sink.

They stood there for just a moment like that. Then she had a thought and pulled away. "Take me to my apartment," she said. "I need to change..."

*~.~*

Ducky opened the door to Tony's apartment and switched on the light. In front of him lay a small table that had been turned over and was on its side; a broken coffee mug scattered about beside it. "Anthony?" he called and walked further into the apartment.

His eye caught a torn, blood-stained shirt lying on the floor, lit up from the glow coming from the bedroom. As he approached the room he saw a gun on the bed; the comforter stained red with blood. And he heard water running in the bathroom. As he walked up to the bathroom door, he noticed Gibbs' cell phone on the floor, and he bent down to pick it up as he pushed on the bathroom door. "Anthony?" he called again, recognizing the sound was coming from the shower. Steam came pouring out into the room.

When there was no answer, he feared the worst... He grabbed the curtain and pulled it open.

"Just...tryin' to...get warm," Tony said, teeth chattering when he looked up from where he was sitting curled up in the tub; the hot water beating down on his skin.

"Good god, Tony," he reached down and turned off the water, looking at Tony's shivering, distant expression. "You're in shock. Let's get you out of there," he reached for a towel and draped it over his back, helping him to stand. Tony allowed himself to be directed, without much awareness of it happening. Ducky wrapped him in a bathrobe and brought him to sit on the bed. "Why didn't you let them bring you to the hospital?"

Tony seemed confused at Ducky's words and his eyes darted around the air between them. Ducky pulled out his phone and dialed Tony's number. "He's here, Jethro," he said into the phone after the other line picked up, "And he's not well."

_"Keep him there, Duck. We're on our way." _The call ended and Ducky turned back around to Tony, who was putting on pants.

"Anthony, you need to keep warm," he said, pulling a throw blanket from the end of the bed and wrapping it around him as he sat back down.

"Needed pants, Duck," he said quietly. Ducky sat down next to him.

"Tony, do you remember what happened after you got into the taxi?" Tony looked at him, confused. He looked down at the floor, then closed his eyes. Suddenly, the memories came flooding back into his mind...

His hands went to his head as the information caused physical pain as it reset itself in his brain. "Oh god...oh god..." he began to sob in horror...

"Tony?" Ducky put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Will you talk to me?"

*~.~*

"Ziva!" Gibbs knocked on the bathroom door when he got the call from Ducky. She had gotten into the shower. "Duck found Tony at his apartment," he said. He heard the water turn off.

"Go!" she called, "My car is outside. I'll be right behind you," she hurriedly threw her clothes on without bothering to dry herself off, and she tore out of the house, grabbing her keys as she went...

*~.~*

Gibbs screeched up to Tony's apartment and put the car in park. As he approached the door, he heard yelling. He drew his weapon when he heard Ducky...

"Tony, put down the gun!" Ducky said, distraught at the situation. Gibbs entered the room and Ducky backed away. Tony was standing at the foot of the bed with his gun in his hands; his face soaked with tears, and pinched with anguish.

"Tony," Gibbs said softly and Tony looked up at him.

"You shoulda let me jump, Boss," he said. "You shoulda let me die!"

"Couldn't let you do that," Gibbs said. "Put down the gun."

"No...no I won't do that," he said.

"Don't make me shoot you, DiNozzo."

"You should!" he shouted as more tears spilled from his red, swollen eyes. "You should kill me for what I've done! For what I did to her..." he crumbled. Ducky's heart was breaking as he listened to the broken man before them. They watched, horrified as Tony began to raise the gun to his temple.

"Tony!" Gibbs yelled. "Ziva does _not_ want you to do this!"

Tony looked at him. "What do you know about what she wants?"

"I know she loves you," he said. Tony's brow furrowed at his words; new tears glassing his eyes. "She told me."

Tony shook his head. "How could she love me after what I've done?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Tony," Ziva said as she stepped into the room.

"Ziva?" Tony's voice was suddenly small and weak as his face lost every hint of anger.

"Put down the gun, Tony," she said softly as she stepped closer. Defeated, he began to lower the weapon. His eyes became distant again, jotting around the air in front of him. The gun fell to the floor and he dropped to his knees in front of her. Gibbs lowered his gun.

Ziva knelt down in front of him, taking his face gently in her hands.

He looked into her eyes, lost and sad. "Ziva, I'm so sorry," he cried. Gibbs took Ducky's arm and motioned for him to follow him out of the room to let them talk.

"No...no, Tony. You have done nothing wrong," tears fell to her cheeks.

"I love you...so much...and I've ruined everything," he pulled his face away, hiding it in his hands.

Her eyes darted around his hidden face as new tears pooled her eyes from his words. "You have ruined nothing," she said, pulling his hands away. "I forced you to do it. It is my fault."

"No...no, I couldn't let him hurt you. This isn't your fault," his hands went to her face, and he was overwhelmed when she didn't flinch away from him.

"You saved me," she said, placing her hands on his.

"I...I hurt you, Zee..."

She shook her head. "You did not hurt me," she stroked his face, giving him a small smile.

"I know I did..."

"You are wrong."

"I felt your hands...tense at my back..." he squeezed his eyes closed at the memory. She thought for a moment about what he could be referring to. Then she blushed.

"I was not in any pain," she said, and he opened his eyes and saw her blushing cheek.

His brow furrowed as his eyes darted back and forth between hers. "What?" he asked for confirmation. She bit down on her bottom lip to stifle the blushing smile, then ducked her head, a bit embarrassed. Suddenly he could feel his heart beating again. "Are you serious?" he asked. She looked up at him again, and he saw no deception in her eyes.

She put her arms around him, cradling his head next to hers. His eyes closed as his arms wrapped around her. "Never run away from me again," she whispered through tears. He felt her squeeze him tighter. "Promise me," she pulled away slightly and rested her forehead against his. "Promise me, Tony."

"I promise," he said, his hands going up to her face again. She brushed away the tears from his face, then kissed him.

"I love you," she said. He pulled her back into an embrace, joy overwhelming him beyond words. His tears flowed anew...

**tbc...**


	7. Chapter 7

Gibbs and Ducky made Tony and Ziva agree to go back to the hospital where they would receive treatment and evaluation. Being separated from each other had proved trying, and Gibbs made the conscious decision to make sure someone was with them during waking hours. If anything, to make the days seem less immeasurable.

The sun had come up on the new day before they'd been admitted, and they all needed sleep at this point. Abby and Ducky volunteered for first watch at one o'clock. Abby had brought a board game to play with Ziva. Ziva was just glad to have the distraction from the doctors.

Ducky made his way to Tony's room with a file under his arm. As he walked into the room, he saw the agent facing the window on his side. Unsure of whether or not he was awake, he quietly made his way to the chair beside him.

"Hey, Duck," Tony said, opening his eyes.

"Anthony, how are you feeling?" he said as he sat. He noticed a grimace on Tony's face.

"Not so great," he grunted.

Ducky leaned forward. "Are the lacerations hurting?"

"No...chest." Ducky worriedly took his wrist to check his pulse.

"How long have you been in pain?"

"Just woke up with it. Maybe five minutes ago," he was holding his breath.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Tomato soup. Nurse woke me up a while ago; made me drink it."

"Your heart rate is slightly elevated, but I'm sure you just have a case of acid reflux."

"I've had heartburn before, Duck. This is much worse."

Ducky stood. "I'll get the nurse, and we'll make sure it's nothing more serious. Meanwhile, if you can manage to sit up, it may help to alleviate some of your discomfort," Ducky made his way to the nurse's station.

Tony slowly turned onto his back, grunting at the stabbing pain in his chest, and pressed the button on the bed to raise himself to a sitting position. By the time Ducky returned with the nurse, Tony was hunched over with his arms clutching his chest...

*~.~*

Gibbs was pulled from his sleep when the phone rang at his bedside. He looked at his alarm clock to see what time it was, then sat up against the headboard and answered the phone, "Yeah, Gibbs."

_"Jethro," _Ducky said on the other line, _"I don't mean to alarm you, but I just arrived at the __hospital to sit with Tony. He's suffering from chest pain," _he told him.

Anxiety flaring, Gibbs stood from his bed and went to the dresser to pull out something to wear. "What's happening to him?" he asked worriedly.

_"The doctors are in with him now. I thought, at first, that it might be a simple case of heartburn...but it seems he's in quite a bit of pain...I'm not sure."_

"I'll be there soon, Duck. Call me if you hear anything before I get there."

*~.~*

"Your turn," Abby said after she'd moved her piece on the board. She looked up at Ziva, who was looking off somewhere else. "Ziva," she said, getting her attention.

"Sorry," she said as she picked up the dice from the board.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked her.

"Nothing," she gave her a small smile. Abby watched her as she moved her piece.

"Mind if I ask you something?" she asked. Ziva looked at her. "I know it's none of my business, but if you wanna talk about what happened... and I know that's not really your thing. I mean talking..."

"Abby," she stopped her, "Thank you for your concern. But I am fine."

"Okay...well..." she furrowed her brow as she thought, "Mind if ask what happened?"

"Why?"

"McGee...was really worried last night," she said. "When he heard the audio file of you...screaming."

"Audio file?" Ziva's brow furrowed.

"Yates sent audio to Gibbs, in effort to get his point across. I- I thought you knew, Zee. I'm sorry..."

"It does not matter anymore, I suppose," she said, and she swallowed. "I am sorry that he had to hear that."

"He's still worried," she told her.

"He tasered me," Ziva said. Abby looked at her. "There is nothing for him to be worried about. I am perfectly fine. Tony is the one we should be concerned about."

"Is that what you were thinking about?" Abby asked, and Ziva settled down on her pillow and took a breath. She _had_ been thinking about Tony. She wished that she could go see him...

*~.~*

"Ahh," Tony sighed as he felt the pain immediately cease. "What did you give me?" he asked the doctor.

"Nitroglycerin tablet," he responded.

"Well...wait, does that mean there's something wrong with my heart?" he seemed worried.

"Not necessarily," he answered. "But we're going to run an EKG, some blood tests over the next eight hours to check for enzymes that would indicate if you'd had a cardiac event, among some other things. For now, I'd like you to get some rest. I'll check back in with you later." Tony nodded and stretched his neck.

Moments after the doctor left, Gibbs came in. "Hey, Boss," Tony said when he heard the door open.

"How ya feelin'?" Gibbs said as he made his way to the bed.

"Better then I was five minutes ago," he smirked.

"Duck told me you were having chest pains," he sat in the chair, relieved to see his agent wasn't still in pain.

"Nothing to worry about...hopefully," he said, pursing his lips as he tried to pass it off. Gibbs settled back in his chair, silently concerned. "Listen, Boss," Tony said as he looked down at the blanket that covered his legs. Gibbs looked at him. "I just...wanted to apologize...for how I acted."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs shook his head and looked down for a moment. "You scared the hell outta me," he told him, and Tony looked at him. "But I think I understand what you were feeling."

"You...were scared?" Tony asked with furrowed brow.

"Thought we were gonna lose you," he squinted.

"Thought I lost _myself_," Tony admitted, looking back down at the blanket.

"Anthony," Ducky came into the room, interrupting whatever else might've been said. "You're feeling better?"

"Yeah, Duck, thanks."

"That's a great relief," he went up to his bedside, glancing for a moment at Gibbs as he held onto the file folder he'd brought in earlier. "I thought I'd let you know the findings of the preliminary autopsy report on Edward Yates, I had Mr. Palmer run for me this morning." Tony squinted at him in question.

"Well I shot him, Ducky. Pretty sure I understand the cause of death."

"As I am aware," Ducky said. "However, the results I found...interesting, for lack of better word, were in the blood tests he ran. It seems in addition to being involved in the Langly case, Yates was wanted for several sexually based offenses. It seems you saved Ziva from a lot more than an emotionally painful experience." Tony shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the previous night and looked at him for further explanation. "Yates' blood came back positive for human immunodeficiency virus."

Gibbs swallowed the bile that rose in his throat from what Ducky had just revealed. Tony nervously scratched at his cheek. "He cut her face... Ducky, she was bleeding. What if..."

"Both of you received an HIV test after we found out. Results will take time. But since both of you had open, bleeding wounds at the time he was shot, both of you have been given Post-exposure prophylaxis, which is a drug that prevents sickness."

"So she'll be okay?" Tony asked, his eyes darting back and forth between his.

"While it's not been proven to work for all high-risk exposures, it _has_ been shown in most on-the-job accidents such as a nurse being accidentally stuck with an HIV infected needle, to stop the infection about eighty percent of the time."

"So you're saying there's a twenty percent chance she could still get sick?" Tony asked and leaned on his elbow as he tried desperately to swallow down the nausea that had suddenly stricken him.

"Please try to calm down, Anthony," Ducky said as he set the file down on the side table and fetched a basin to hand him. "We can't even be certain either of you were really exposed." Ducky glanced over at a worried Gibbs.

"Have you told her?" Tony asked quietly.

"Not yet," he sighed, dreading the thought of giving the news again. Gibbs stood then, taking the file from the table.

"I'll go talk to her," he said, and made his way out of the room...

**tbc...**


	8. Chapter 8

***Song lyrics by Sarah Mclachlan* **

_*~.~*_

"Abs," Gibbs said as he walked into Ziva's room, "Can you give us a minute?"

"Yeah sure, Gibbs," she said as she stood from the chair. "What's going on? You're shift doesn't start for another few hours. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," his gaze shifted to the floor for a moment. "Why don't you go see Tony for a few minutes."

Her brow furrowed as she detected that he wasn't telling her the truth. "Okay," she decided, and glanced at Ziva before walking out the door and closing it behind her.

"Why do I get the feeling that not everything is fine?" Ziva smirked at Gibbs as he sat down on the side of her bed. He returned a nervous smile as he looked down at the folder in his hands. "What is this?" she motioned to what he held.

He looked up at her. "Yates was HIV positive," he told her. Her expression was empty. "Ducky thinks there's a possibility that you and Tony may have been exposed when he was shot," he said softly and watched her eyes dart around nervously in the air between them.

"This is why I was given medication, yes?" she searched his eyes. Gibbs nodded. "Tony too." "How is he?" she asked.

"Seems to be doing okay," he said, looking back down at the file. "There is something you are not telling me," she said as she recognized his hesitance. He looked up at her. "There's nothin' you should be worrying about right now, Ziva," he squinted at her as she glared, demanding truth. He matched her glare, refusing to add to her fears with talk of uncertainty.

"Fine," she said and sat up, turning so her legs swung off the side of the bed, "If you will not tell me, then I will go and see for myself."

"Ziva..."

"I cannot lie here wondering," she said, turning to him and searching his eyes.

He looked at her, thoughtfully, and put his hand on her arm. "There's a vacant bed next to Tony's," he said. "Maybe we can get you moved there." She cocked her head at the unexpected gesture. He smirked. "If you two are gonna keep worrying 'bout each other, might as well be in the same room."

*~.~*

"I spoke with the doctors like you asked," Ducky told Gibbs as he entered Tony's room again, "As soon as Anthony returns from the stress test, they'll make the arrangements to bring her in."

"Thanks," he said from where he stood in front of the window, looking out at nothing in particular. Ducky recognized his uncomfortable stance and made his way to his friend's side.

"I take it Abby went back downstairs," he said. Gibbs nodded, but said nothing else. "You're worried about Tony," he concluded.

"Worried about both of them, Duck," he said without looking away from the window.

Ducky took a breath. "Jethro, if it brings you any comfort, the post-exposure medicine _is_ just a precaution."

"It's not a guarantee," he replied, glancing at him.

"No, it's not. But it'll do no good to worry yourself sick waiting for the answer."

"Tell that to _them_," he said, softly, furrowing his brow.

*~.~*

"Passed with flying colors," Tony said as he was wheeled back into the room.

Gibbs let a small smile grace his features, relieved. "Good to hear," he said as he turned to help him.

"I got it, Boss, thanks," Tony said as he climbed into the bed. "Now," he made himself comfortable, "I get to be wired up for an EKG," he grinned with faked enthusiasm. "But not before round three of the blood-letting," he said as a nurse prepped him to take another vial of blood.

"Should I step out?" Gibbs asked, pointing a thumb at the door.

"Don't have to." Gibbs sat down and watched as the nurse finished filling the vial and pulled the needle out, bandaging the site. Another nurse walked in, wheeling a cart that held the electrocardiogram machine. Tony rubbed his eyes. "Tired?" Gibbs asked.

"Between barely sleeping, running on a treadmill, and having half the blood drained out of my body all afternoon? I think I could go for a nap," he said, then yawned.

"The EKG will only take ten seconds, once I get the contacts on," the nurse said. "You don't need to be awake for it."

"I'll head down to the cafeteria and grab a coffee," Gibbs said as he stood.

"Kay, Boss," he replied, and closed his eyes. Gibbs glanced at the nurse, who gave him a small smile as he walked out.

*~.~*

When Gibbs returned, coffee in hand, Ziva was lying in the hospital bed next to Tony's. She was on her side facing her sleeping partner. She met Gibbs' eyes as he walked into the room. "He has been asleep since before I got here," she whispered, turning onto her back and sitting up a little. "What is wrong with his heart? I saw the EKG machine being pushed out of here," her face was calm as she asked the question.

"Maybe nothing," he replied quietly as he stood close to her bedside.

"Why were they doing the test?" He looked down at the floor, then back up at her.

"Not my right to tell you that, Ziva. You'll have to ask him..."

*~.~*

Tony's eyes drifted open to a sunset sky, definitely feeling he hadn't gotten the amount of sleep he needed. Gibbs wasn't there where he'd half expected him to be. He turned his head toward the door, then noticed the bed beside him was now occupied. Ziva was asleep, and he turned onto his side to face her. His eyes scanned over her, making sure she was well, and when his gaze fell upon her face again, her eyes opened and she was looking at him. A smile curled the corners of her mouth and it warmed him, causing him to do the same.

–_Spend all your time waiting for that second chance; for the break that will make it okay-_

"Hey," she said, softly.

"Hey."

_-There's always some reason to feel not good enough...And it's hard at the end of the day-_

"I missed you today," she told him.

"You did?" he was a bit surprised.

She smirked. "I was worried about you..."

-_I need some distraction or a beautiful release...Memories seep from my veins-_

She pushed herself up and off of her bed, making her way over to his. And he watched her as she began to climb up next to him. He inched back to give her some room as she curled up on her side to face him.

-_Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight-_

His eyes became glassy; his heart touched by her gesture. Her head nestled down next to his on the pillow and her hand petted the side of his face as she looked at him. His hand settled lazily on her arm as his eyes darted back and forth between hers.

-_In the arms of the Angel far away from here...From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel-_

His brow furrowed as he recalled what Ducky had told him earlier about the possibility of being infected. "Are you scared?" he asked her.

"Are you?" she avoided her obvious answer. For a moment, he looked slightly away. But then he nodded and looked back into her eyes as they, too, became glassy. She ducked her head under his chin as her arm went around him, her hand settling on the back of his shoulder.

_-You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here-_

"I am still tired," she told him. His hand went to her hair, stroking it with feather-light touches.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere," he kissed her head.

**Tbc...**


	9. Chapter 9

The curtain was pulled in between their beds as the cardiologist came to speak with Tony. Ziva had only pretended to continue to sleep when they closed the curtain. She listened intently to the doctor's voice as he spoke.

"All the tests came back showing that your heart is in perfect health," he told him. Ziva felt relief flush through her. "Do you have any history of panic attacks?" the doctor asked him.

"No," Tony replied.

"What my diagnostics team and I have concluded is that you may have had an esophageal spasm caused by the slight heartburn the tomato soup must have induced."

"What's that?"

"The pain you felt in your chest was your esophagus squeezing into spasm. This is a problem that's usually inflamed by stress, but it's manageable."

"But I couldn't breath, Doc. Is that another symptom?"

"Normally, no. But given the stressful conditions you were in, my guess would be that you were experiencing an anxiety attack as well, not knowing why you were in pain. I'm going to write you out a few prescriptions I'd like you to start taking," he pulled out a script tablet. "One of them is to treat acid reflux. I'd like you to take this every day. If the pain returns, you need to come back in to be checked out. The other is something you should take at bed time. It's given to patients who suffer from anxiety, but I'm mostly concerned about process of elimination."

"Could it interfere with my performance at work?" he asked with furrowed brow.

"The medicine? No. But if you were to have an anxiety attack, your job being what it is, it could be a problem for you." Tony looked down at the blanket that lay over him. His eyes openly showing his feelings of insecurity and uncertainty. "Like I said, Agent DiNozzo, these are preventative medications. If you stick to them, I don't foresee it happening again any time soon. Especially since this is the first time it's happened."

"Thanks," he replied in a whisper.

"I'll have the pharmacy fill these downstairs, then we can get you ready to be discharged."

Tony looked up at him. "What about her?" he motioned toward the curtain that separated him from Ziva.

"Miss David is ready to be discharged as well. I'll be back in to talk to her in a few minutes," he turned to leave.

"Hey, Doc?" Tony sat up to grab his attention. The doctor turned back toward him. "What about the HIV test results?"

"It could be several days or even weeks before we can get that information back, Sir. I suggest you take precautions, of course, until those results come in." Tony gave a nervous nod before laying his head back down on his pillow, watching the doctor continue out the door. He briefly glanced at the closed curtain before fixing his gaze out the window at the mid-day, clear sky.

He didn't hear Ziva open the curtain, or walk up beside his bed. But he felt her hand when it settled gently on his arm, and his head shot over to it, then up at her. "Didn't know you were up," he said softly as he grinned up at her slightly.

"I was glad to hear that there is nothing wrong with your heart," she said, concern still washing her features.

"Me too," he said, looking back down at her hand, "But my gut won't quit nagging."

"I know," she said as her thumb lightly brushed up and down on the little patch of skin beneath it. It gave him goosebumps.

"Hey, guys," McGee said as he walked into the room, turning to shut the door behind him before heading over to them, carrying two black carry-on bags. "Sorry I'm late. Traffic was insane."

"Don't worry about it, Probie," Tony said as Ziva walked back to her bed, "You're right on time. Doc says we're getting outta here soon. You can give us a ride, right?"

"Yeah, sure, no problem. Gibbs had me bring your overnight bags," he said as he set them down in the chair. "But I guess you won't be needing them."

"We did need something to wear out of here, McGee," Ziva said. "Thank you."

"You're looking a lot better today," he told Ziva with a small smile. Then he looked at Tony. "Gibbs brought your shirts to Abby to run," he told him. "She said he wanted her to check for any other DNA besides yours. I'm guessing to try and rule out Yates' blood getting on either of you," the look of concern on his face told them he knew about the possible danger they were in.

"She find anything?" Tony asked in a small voice.

Tim's eyes darted around for a moment. "Nothing yet."

"You lyin' to me?" Tony asked, noticing his hesitancy.

Tim looked at him, pursing his lips, aggravated at himself for not being able to hide what he knew. "There was a very _small_...amount of blood splatter on Ziva's shirt," he said, glancing at Ziva. "But Abby says it wasn't anywhere near the holes in your shirt from the taser, Ziva," he told her in an attempted comforting voice. He glanced back at Tony, whose face had paled at the information. "I'm sure everything's gonna be okay."

Tony looked over at Ziva. She was sitting on the side of the bed, looking down at her hands in her lap. When her eyes met his, she scooted off the bed. "I am going to get changed," she said, picking up her bag. They both watched her disappear into the bathroom.

Tony sat up and swung his legs off the side of his bed. "Hand me mine, would ya?" he asked McGee. Tim grabbed the bag and handed it to him. "So Gibbs went by my place?" he asked as he slipped on his pants before taking off the gown.

"Uh...yeah. I went with him," he said nervously. "Abby was pretty freaked out when she saw what was left of your shirt." Tony stood, turning his back to him as he riffled through the bag for a tee shirt. McGee's eyes met the stitched up lacerations on his back and swallowed. "God, Tony...I- I- I'm sorry about what they did to you..." Tony spun around, only then remembering that his back was no longer bandaged.

"Just flesh wounds, McGee," he half smiled as he threw on the tee shirt. "Nothing to worry about."

"Does it hurt?" he squinted.

"Not so much with the pain killers they gave me," he sat back on the side of the bed and pulled out a pair of socks. Tim sat cautiously down in the chair beside the bed.

"What about Ziva?" he asked quietly and Tony looked back at him. "I know tasers aren't life-threatening or anything, but when I saw her the other night..." his sentence tapered off as his eyes darted somewhere in the air between them.

"I am fine, McGee," Ziva said, coming out of the bathroom, dressed. He looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry..."

"It is alright. I know you were concerned," she said as she sat on the edge of her bed and put her shoes on.

A nurse came in with some clipboards then. "I have your discharge papers and some self-care sheets for you to take home," she told both patients. "If you can read over them and sign the discharge sheet at the bottom, the doctor will be back up shortly with your prescriptions." They both took the clipboards from her and watched her walk out.

"When we go, you wanna stop and grab something to eat before I drop you off?" McGee asked.

Tony glanced at Ziva. She considered the question; though she wasn't very hungry, she didn't want to go home just yet and be separated from Tony. "Sure," she replied.

"Great," he smiled and stood. "I'll go pull the car up and wait for you to come out, if that's okay with you."

Tony nodded and moved to the chair Tim had earlier occupied. Ziva moved across the room after McGee exited, and sat on the edge of Tony's bed, facing him as he sat in the chair.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he smirked.

She knew him better than that. She watched him as his gaze fell to his hands. "My car is still parked at your apartment," she said. "So McGee can drop me off with you."

He looked back up to her again. "If you wanna hang out a little before you leave...I wouldn't mind the company," he told her. She smirked at him, raising a brow. "We can watch a movie or something. If you want to, I mean...I'm not gonna force you..." his brow furrowed as he looked down again; memories flashing into his mind from the night before last. She recognized his hesitation.

"I would love to," she said and the corner of her mouth turned up when he looked up at her again.

He returned the smile. "You can pick the movie."

"I trust you," she said, standing and grabbing the clipboard to look it over. "I suggest something with a happy ending, though," she said when she sat on her bed.

"I think I might have something..."

"Oh good," the doctor said as he walked into the room, "Both of you are awake. I have your PEP meds here," he handed a bottle to Ziva, "And yours, as well the other prescriptions we discussed earlier," he handed the bottles to Tony. Tony looked them over before throwing them into his overnight bag. "Now, the PEP meds can cause some mild side effects, such as upset stomach, headaches, fatigue... but not in all patients. If it does happen, give me a call and I should be able to call something in to help. Other then that, you're free to go if you're finished signing the paperwork."

"Got it right here," Tony stood and handed it to him as Ziva did the same.

"Thank you," Ziva said, then made her way out of the room...

*~.~*

"I can not believe you talked me into watching this," Ziva said from her spot on the couch.

"Willy Wonka is a classic, Zee," he said as he took a sip of his iced tea. "I know it's not as magical as when you see it as a kid; thinking somehow, someday, you just might get to be in a room made entirely out of candy."

"I must admit, the edible teacup was intriguing," Ziva said, raising brow. "But the chocolate river is...well, frankly, unsanitary."

"It is _now_ anyway," he said as they watched the fat little boy on the screen get pushed up the tube.

Ziva laughed through her nose. She glanced over at him as he pressed the glass to his forehead.

"Headache?" she asked.

"Not too bad," he replied. "Probably just need sleep."

"We can watch the rest of this tomorrow," she suggested.

"No, it's okay, Zee. I'm just gonna jump in the shower," he said as he stood, "Maybe that'll loosen up my muscles. Pretty sure that hospital bed destroyed my back. Probably why my head hurts. You keep watching. I'll be out in five minutes."

She gave him a small smile as she watched him disappear into the bedroom. Then her attention went back to the television as some strange little green-haired dwarfs began to sing. She cocked her head and squinted before hearing a knock at the door.

She stood from the couch, thankful for the distraction from the movie, and listened to the sound of the shower running before going to answer the door. Through the peephole, she saw Gibbs and opened the door, making room for him to enter.

"Hey, Ziva," he said as he entered, glancing over at the TV. "What's DiNozzo got you watching?"

"Willy Wonka and the apparently exceedingly over-funded Chocolate Factory," she sighed as she made her way back to the couch. Gibbs smirked. "He is in the shower," she told him. "Said he has a headache."

"Take it everything came back okay with his doctor?" he asked as he sat on the arm of the couch.

"With his heart? Yes. They said it was a...um...an esophageal...spasm?" she hoped she was saying it right. "He was given a prescription to take to stop it from happening again."

Gibbs nodded, then scratched his cheek. "How about you? How are you doing?"

"I am fine, as I have been telling you," she squinted. "If you came here to tell me to take some time off, it is not needed."

"Ducky told me about the side effects of those drugs," he told her, looking at her face for a reaction.

"We have been on them for three days now, and we are fine," she said with a calm face. But Gibbs looked at her, his eyes briefly squinting as he waited for her to continue. "If something should happen while we are at work, _then_ we will take time off," she negotiated. But she could see that he wasn't convinced.

She looked down at the coffee table in front of her. Her eyes caught the reflection that glared down on it from the television. It made her glance up at the television as Veruca Salt began demanding her father buy her a golden goose.

Ziva heard a small laugh from Gibbs and glanced at him. He was looking at the screen, seemingly amused. Then his eyes glanced to her. Then to the floor. "I remember this movie now," he said with a smirk. "This was Kelly's favorite part."

Ziva watched his face as he continued to watch the screen. She couldn't imagine what he felt in that moment. She was drawn back to the scene that played on the screen. The spoiled little girl was singing now, destroying the room she was in as she demanded her father allow her a party, until she stood on a platform and the floor opened up underneath her, and she fell down the shoot.

"Guess she was a bad egg..." Willy Wonka said. Ziva smiled, amused, and looked back over at her boss who was doing the same. Then his eyes fell back upon hers.

"I need to be at work," she said, her eyes pleading with his. "I cannot spend my days watching the phone, waiting..."

He watched her eyes as they changed from certainty to desperation. "Okay," he said as he nodded. The fear in her eyes diminished as she smiled in relief.

"Boss?" Tony came out of the bedroom dressed, but his hair was still damp.

"Hey, Tony," he said as he stood from the couch and reached into his coat pocket. "Got your requisitioned phones," he handed them each their new cells.

"Thought McGee recovered them?" Tony questioned as he turned his phone in his hands.

"He did," he said as he shifted uncomfortably where he stood, scratching the side of his head.

"Yates used them to record audio," Ziva said, and they both looked at her, "They should be in evidence."

"Didn't wanna take any chances," Gibbs added. "Anyway, I'm gonna go. See you both at work, tomorrow?" he glanced up at Tony as he nodded, then turned toward the door. Tony followed him.

"Thanks for...cleaning up in there," he told him quietly, referring the bloody comforter that had been changed. Gibbs smirked as he thought.

"Ducky's idea, DiNozzo. Thank him."


	10. Chapter 10

"Morning, McGee," Tony said as he walked into the bullpen with a cup holder filled with four steaming cups of coffee.

"Hey...I didn't realize you'd be back to work already?" McGee replied, getting up from his chair and taking the tray from Tony.

"Stay home and miss another enthralling Monday?" he replied as he took a seat at his desk. "What're you tryin' to get rid of me, Probie?"

"Is Ziva coming in too?" he asked, then turned toward the elevator when he heard it open. Ziva walked up to the bullpen, carrying her backpack. "Guess that answers my question," he leaned back in his chair. Tim was glad they were there, but concerned as well. He glanced back and forth between them for a few moments before deciding against pushing the matter even further, and pulled his chair closer to the computer to check his email

Tony watched Ziva as she sat gracefully into her desk chair and pulled a blue bottle from her backpack, sneaking it into her desk drawer before looking up at Tony. "Whatcha got there?" he grinned deviously. She was only slightly annoyed at his prying. But she ignored him, setting her pack on the floor beside her desk and pulling her chair in closer to the keyboard.

Tony stood and glanced her over as he approached her desk. She had left his house late the night before, after nearly falling asleep on his couch. And he offered her to stay, even offered to drive her, but she'd insisted that she would be fine.

Her hair was straightened and fitted with a navy blue headband that seemed to compliment her eyes. She wore a light, long-sleeved black sweater and her necklace hung outside of the turtle neck.

She looked up at him when he stood silent in front of her desk. "What do you want?" she squinted, but the corner of her mouth curled up.

"Just wondering how you're feeling this morning," he teased, but was genuinely concerned on the inside.

"And how is your headache?" she retorted. He made a face at her.

"What's in the bottle?" he pushed.

"Antacid," she replied flatly.

"Rough morning?"

"Upset stomach," she glared at him. Then she whispered, "I will not tell, if you will not tell."

"Deal," he squinted and turned to go back to his desk.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," McGee said from his desk. Tony looked over at him as he sat.

"What are your terms?" he asked.

"I'm not asking for anything in return," he glanced at his partner before looking back at his computer screen.

"You probably should, McGee," Ziva said, and he looked over at her. "I think an I owe you, is in order, don't you think, Tony?"

"Maybe a _we_," he retorted as he glanced at her. Her lips curled into a smile.

"Yes, we owe you," she said to Tim.

"Well you'll have to pay him back later," Gibbs said as her rounded the corner into the bullpen. "We've got a dead Navy lieutenant to attend to," he said as he grabbed his pack and fished his gun from his desk drawer.

The team didn't speak, but grabbed their gear and followed their boss silently to the elevator. "Where we headed, Boss?" Tony asked as the doors closed in front of them.

"Right around the corner..."

*~.~*

"You'd think a place like this would be safe," McGee said as he glanced over to the deceased Lieutenant who lay lifeless sprawled across his bed.

Tony snapped another picture of the body before replying, "No where is safe, Probie," he said, bringing the camera back to his eye. Tim pulled open the drawer in the nightstand and riffled through its contents.

"Comforting," he replied flatly.

"He could have killed himself," Ziva said as she picked up a prescription bottle and studied it. "These are sleeping pills and there are not many left."

"No note," Tony said after glancing at her.

"Why does there always have to be a note, Tony?" she asked as she bagged the bottle.

"People generally leave something to say goodbye. Something to let them know why they did it," he crouched down beside the bed to get a different angle of the man's face.

"Not always," she said, recalling the previous weekend. Tony didn't show his recognition of her response outwardly. But he was well aware of what she'd meant.

"Taking a bottle of pills is planning," he said as he stood. "If he did kill himself, he had been thinking about it for a while. He woulda left a note."

"True," Ducky said as he walked into the room, "In most cases, Anthony, but not everyone has someone to say goodbye to, unfortunately." The older man made his way to the side of the bed as they moved out of his way. The doctor put his gloved thumb on the man's lid to open his eye. "Pin-point pupils," he said. "Does seem to corroborate the assumption of an overdose. Of course, we'll need to get him back to autopsy and have Abigail run a toxicology screen to confirm. Otherwise, no apparent signs of struggle or defensive wounds," he said as he scanned over the body and pulled the liver probe from his bag.

Ziva turned away as he stuck the probe into the man's body. Tony glanced over to her as she opened her backpack and began riffling through it. "I should never have taken them out," she said under her breath as she realized she'd left the bottle of antacid in her desk.

"You okay?" Tony asked right before she tore out of the room in a hurry. He glanced at the two living men in the room before running out after her. "Ziva?" he called as he watched her run out of the house, and continued after her.

Gibbs had been in the living room talking to the Lieutenant's roommate when he heard Tony and glanced over to see him run out of the house. He turned back to the roommate, handing him his card. "Give me a call if you can think of anything else," he said, then turned to go after his agents.

When he found them on the side of the house, Ziva was hunched forward, throwing up in the grass as she held her ponytail away from the flow of offending substance, and supported herself against the siding of the house. Tony was standing by her, his hand on her back, waiting for the heaving to end.

He approached the agents quietly. Tony glanced up at him right before Ziva. "You okay, Ziva?" he asked.

"I am now," she said as she wiped at her mouth with her sleeve, hoping nothing was there.

"Duck said you could get nauseous with the meds," he reminded her.

"I am aware. I had something for my stomach when I came into work, but I left it at my desk. I am fine now, Gibbs," she said as she straightened up and looked at him. His gaze fell on Tony for a moment, motioning with his head for him to go back inside. He wanted to protest, but glanced at Ziva. Her eyes told him that it was okay, and he glanced at his boss briefly before walking around him and toward the house.

"You sure it's the medication that's makin' you sick?" he asked. She squinted at him in question, just for a moment, before realizing what he was implying. She looked down, away from him. "I'm only askin' 'cause you didn't tell them, and they wouldn't have given you anything as a precaution for it."

"I cannot conceive, Gibbs," she said flatly, without looking up at him. He thought for a moment at her words. She looked up at him when he was silent. "I was...severely injured before I turned twenty. I would rather not go into detail..." she said quietly.

"Did you see a doctor?" he asked with furrowed brow, pained by her news.

"I did not have to," she said, her gaze falling absently to his chest.

"How can you be sure?" he asked, and her eyes came back to his. She was clearly uncomfortable, but found no reason not to tell him. She could trust him...and should trust him.

"Since recovering all those years ago, I have not had my..." she didn't want to say out loud, what she thought he could conclude on his own from what she'd begun telling. He nodded, sympathetically, showing that he did.

*~.~*

Inside the house, Tony had heard them speaking and moved to stand next to the window, out of their line of sight. When he heard her say she could not conceive, he felt as though he shouldn't continue to listen. But he didn't move from where he stood. Something about it had made him sad. He longed to be out there, comforting her. Yet she hadn't told _him_ this information, and it wasn't his right to listen to it.

Slowly and stealthily, he moved away from the window and back to the room where the Lieutenant's body was being put in a body bag on the gurney.

"All set, McGee?" he asked him.

"Yeah, just putting my stuff away," he said as he zipped his backpack. "Is Ziva okay?"

"Just a sick stomach," he replied and turned to walk out the door. "Got any aspirin, McGee?" he asked as the agent caught up to him.

"In my desk," he replied. "Still have that headache?"

"I can feel it starting up again..."

*~.~*

"What do ya got for me, Duck?" Gibbs asked as he strolled into autopsy toward the M.E.

"As we suspected," he began, "Lieutenant Gerald did, in fact, overdose on sleeping medication. I found no bruising or other markings that would indicate he had been in any kind of attack," he picked up the dead man's hand as Gibbs approached the table, "His hands are clean; fingernails well-kept. A rarity in his line of work. His knuckles don't show any discoloration, which would have indicated he'd been in a fight. Everything lead me to believe that it was a suicide."

"I feel a 'but' coming," Gibbs said as he smirked at the doctor.

"Indeed. B_ut_, after careful examination of his stomach contents, I didn't find any partially dissolved particles of the rather large-sized pills he'd consumed. Traces of it was left within the lining of his stomach, so it _was_, in fact, ingested. However, I believe the pills were crushed into a powder, and mixed with warm milk, which he voluntarily drank."

"Find it hard to believe he had trouble swallowing his meds, Duck," Gibbs said.

"Yes, it is very difficult to believe. I don't think Mr. Gerald was aware of what, exactly, he was consuming when he prepared for bed last night."

"Someone wanted him dead," Gibbs concluded.

"It's worth looking into," Ducky said as he turned to retrieve a kidney from the weigh station. "This reminds me of Belle Gunness, who in 1906 ran personal ads to lure men to her. She would poison their drinks with a little chloroform in a tumbler of whiskey, then give them a chaser of strychnine. After they would die, she would wait until dark and dismember their bodies, burying them in the back yard...well...I suppose it doesn't seem very similar to this case at all. But it did come to mind-" he turned, but Gibbs was no longer there.

"Agent Gibbs was leaving as I came in, Doctor," Palmer said as he approached the table.

"Of course," he sighed as his attention went back to the Lieutenant.

"I heard about that, though," Jimmy said with a small grin. "They never did find her, right? I believe they said she'd killed over forty people, including her own children and step-children."

"That's right, Mr. Palmer," Ducky said, a grin infecting his face at the boy's knowledge, and also glad that someone was willing to listen. "Would you mind closing him up?" he asked.

*~.~*

"What do we know about Lieutenant Dan Gerald?" Gibbs asked as he walked into the bullpen. His three agents jumped up as McGee brought the information up on the big screen.

"Daniel Gerald," McGee started, "Twenty nine years old, never married, no kids."

"Recently promoted," Ziva added, "It was a position up for two people. Gerald, and Lieutenant Timothy Andrews."

"His roommate," Gibbs concluded.

"Gerald had a girlfriend," Tony said, "Private First Class Amy Stutters. She was stationed on the U.S.S Carter. Andrews said she was due back last night in D.C."

"We were delayed," they spun around to the feminine voice that approached the bullpen. The short, dirty-blonde officer was dressed in uniform. "We just arrived this morning. I just heard..." she said with glassy eyes.

"Amy Stutters?" Gibbs asked as she stopped in front of them. She nodded.

"I know who killed Danny..."

*~.~*

"She's lying," Tony said to Ziva and McGee as they stood in the observation room watching Miss Stutters at the table.

"Why do you think that?" McGee asked.

"Gibbs isn't in there yet, number one," he said.

"And she knows something," Ziva added. "Look at her face." McGee looked back at the woman in interrogation.

"She just lost her boyfriend, Ziva. She's upset," McGee argued.

"That is not sadness on her face," she told him. "That is fear."

"She definitely killed him," Tony said.

"There's no way you could know that," McGee argued.

"Oh really? I bet you fifty bucks, she did," Tony held his hand out. Tim considered the bet for a moment, then shook on it.

*~.~*

Gibbs entered the interrogation room with a folder in his hands. The Private looked at him as he came to the table. "I don't know why you're keeping me here," she said, "I told you Lieutenant Andrews killed him. You should be out there bringing him in."

"One problem with your story, Private," he said as he sat down and opened the file, holding up a piece of paper as he glanced over the information on it. "There was a call placed from your cell phone at 19:00 hours last night," he looked at her for a reaction, "To Lieutenant Andrews. And then he called you at 21:37. Care to tell me what that call was about?"

"I-I was looking for Danny," she said. Her eyes became red, "He wasn't answering his phone so I called Tim to see if he was home with him. And uh...he said when he got home, he'd have him call me back."

"Did he?" Gibbs asked, "Call you back?"

"Yes...he called and didn't talk for long. I told him how we would be delayed...and that I'd see him today."

Gibbs squinted at her as he glared. "You sure that's the story you wanna tell me?" he said calmly. She furrowed a brow at him without response. Then she looked down at the table top. "You're sure you talked to Danny Gerald on the phone last night?" he raised his voice.

"Yes!" she yelled back.

"Gerald was dead before that, Amy," he said, squinting at her. "You think we wouldn't be able to figure that out?"

"What are you trying to say?" she said, angrily, "I didn't kill Danny. I wasn't there."

"No, you weren't. But Andrews was. Were you sleeping with him?"

"What? What kind of question is that?"

"I'm trying to figure out why he would consider killing your boyfriend for you."

"I..."

"You called him and told him to make it look like a suicide...and he called you when he knew it was done," his tone didn't change. He simply watched her. She blinked...

"I want a lawyer..."

"Of course you do," he said and stood.

*~.~*

"Yes!" Tony made an exaggerated stance of victory, "I knew it! Pay up, Probie," he held his hand out.

"Technically she didn't actually kill him, Tony," McGee argued.

"She put the hit out on him. Same thing," Tony said.

"It's not the s-" he stopped and pursed his lips, knowing full well Tony would not back down. "Fine," he pulled out his wallet, "You were _half_ right...so you get twenty-five." Tony squinted at him and Ziva laughed through her nose as she watched McGee put a twenty and a five in his palm.

*~.~*

**The next morning...**

McGee and Abby stood in front of Tony's desk, a smile painting each of their faces as they watched him sleep. His head was wedged up against the black filing cabinet, and in his lap he held a folder flipped open towards the middle.

"He's like a cute little baby when he's sleeping," Abby grinned as she spoke quietly to Tim.

"We should write something on his forehead," McGee smirked.

"That would be totally mean, Tim," she glanced at him.

"What are you talking about?" he defended, "I _still_ have no idea what they did to me when I fell asleep at my desk..."

"We did nothing, McGee," they turned as Ziva walked into the bullpen with her backpack. "That was the point; to make you _think_ we did." She set her backpack down and joined them, realizing Tony was asleep. "He has been here all night?" she asked, surprised, but noticing the three empty coffee cups in his trash bin.

"Guess so," McGee said. "Wonder what he was working on," he started to walk around the desk, but the phone started ringing at Ziva's desk, and Tony jumped awake in his chair; the file falling from his lap and scattering on the floor beneath him.

"Son of a..." Tony got down off the chair and started picking up the pages, then glancing to his left to see McGee and Abby standing over him.

"Need some help, Tony?" McGee grinned. Tony made a face at him, but the agent bent down to assist him anyway.

Ziva grinned as she took her seat and looked over at the caller ID on the phone. Her smile faded when she read it, and she picked it up, "Agent David," she answered in a small voice. "Yes, this is she."

"Thanks, I got it, Probie," Tony said as he straightened the papers. Tim stood and went to his desk.

"I'm gonna head downstairs, guys," Abby said as she stood, "Thanks for the comical morning, Tony," she grinned at him.

"Oh, he's not _that_ funny, Abs," Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen.

"Thank you, Boss," Tony said, then squinted, "I think..." Gibbs smirked as he took a seat and he glanced at Ziva who was still on the phone.

"Thank you so much," Ziva said and hung up the phone, taking a cleansing breath as she met Gibbs' eyes. "That was Bethesda," she said. Tony paused and looked over at her. "The test was negative," she smiled. Smiles of relief washed over the faces of her team.

"That's great news, Ziva," McGee said. She gave him an appreciative grin and her gaze went to Tony. His eyes showed such relief as they bore into hers from where he knelt. But a realization came into her thoughts; where was _his_ call?

Then, suddenly, his phone rang and startled him. All eyes turned to his phone as he stood, placing the folder down on his desk before looking at the ID. "It's Bethesda," he grinned at Ziva, then picked it up. "Tony DiNozzo," he answered.

Ziva shared a glance with Gibbs, who was still smirking in her direction, happy that his agents were getting this good news. Their eyes went back to Tony as they heard him speak again.

"What, exactly, does that mean?" he had spun his chair around, facing away from them, and only McGee could see his profile as he listened to the phone at his ear with his eyes closed. "Okay..." he said quietly, "Okay, thanks," he pulled the phone away and sat there for a moment before turning his chair around and placing the phone on the hook.

"Tony?" Ziva asked, concern washing over her again. He didn't look at her.

"Need to use the head," he said, emotionless, as he stood and quickly exited the bullpen. Ziva looked at Gibbs as he watched his agent disappear into the men's room, then looked over at her. Her eyes masked the sudden fear in his own. And he stood to from his desk and headed toward where his agent had fled to.

*~.~*

Tony splashed cool water onto his face over the sink. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and tried to concentrate on calming himself down; willing the bile to subside back down from his throat. He leaned there over the sink with his eyes closed, focusing on the sound of the running water until it was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. He turned the knob to stop the water and reached up for a paper towel, briefly glancing at the reflection of his boss as he entered the room.

"What'd they say, DiNozzo?" he asked as calmly as he could, leaning back on the wall across from the mirror.

"Just needed a minute, Boss," he said and ran the towel over his face. "Wanted to let Ziva enjoy her good news for a little while."

"What're you sayin' to me? What'd they tell you?" his brow furrowed at Tony's reflection. Tony threw the balled up towel into the trash and turned around, leaning back on the counter.

"They said I need to come in for another test," he said, smirking. "Not sure what that means exactly," he looked down. "But I thought for sure..." he swallowed. "When Ziva got that call...I thought I'd be hearing the same thing."

"Doesn't mean it was positive, Tony," his boss tried to give him comforting words as he shifted where he stood.

"Well, it couldn't have been negative, right?" he looked up at him. Gibbs didn't know what to say.

"I don't know," he said finally. "When do they want you to go in?"

"Soon as I can," he replied, looking back down to the floor.

"You shouldn't put it off," he told him. "You should go now." Tony shook his head.

"I'm scared, Boss," his voice cracked, and Gibbs was moved at his confession.

"Might not be a reason for that," he said and Tony looked back up at him in question. "You should go downstairs; talk to Ducky. Tell him what they said to you. Maybe he can give you some insight on what it means."

Tony searched the air between them for a moment. "I just don't want Ziva to worry... She's been through enough."

"Too late for that, Tony," he said, and Tony met his eyes again. "She's gonna worry, just like you would if it was her. You're gonna have to have some hope. If you don't, she'll know. And she'll be just as scared." Tony considered his words. He knew Gibbs was right. He pushed up off of the counter and stood for a moment as he looked back at his boss. "I'll talk to Ziva," Gibbs told him.

Tony nodded, accepting his words. Gibbs turned to walk out, and he followed behind him, parting ways once they exited the bathroom. Tony took the stairs, and Gibbs headed into the bullpen; Ziva looked at him once Tony disappeared into the stairwell.

He looked at her as he continued past her desk, signaling her with his finger, to follow him. She stood, briefly glancing at McGee before following Gibbs into the elevator. McGee felt frustrated as he was left alone in the bullpen wondering what was happening, but not being given any answers...

*~.~*

Gibbs waited for the elevator to start moving before turning the emergency switch, bringing the lift to a halt. "What did he say?" Ziva asked him, her eyes pleading with his, revealing the fear she felt clearly.

"Doesn't want you to worry about him," he began. "And you shouldn't yet."

"Why? What did they tell him?"

"He has to go in for another test."

"What...what does that mean?" she searched the air between them.

"I'm not sure, Ziva," he felt his plan backfiring, as he, himself, was uncertain what to believe. He'd told Tony to have hope, or she wouldn't. And there he was, feeling nothing but fear himself...

"This is not fair," she said, turning away from him to hide her eyes. "It is not fair that this is happening to him..."

"He wants you to be happy," he told her. He walked around to face her again, putting his hands on her arms, "You can't lose hope, Ziva... You're the only one he's gonna draw that from."

She looked at him, letting the words absorb into her mind. And though it would be difficult, she knew that if nothing else, she could pretend she wasn't terrified...

*~.~*

Ziva went to his apartment that evening after work. He had gone home after talking to Ducky, and hadn't come back up to get his things. She held his backpack as she knocked on the door. He opened it only a few moments later. And her mouth curled up into a smile as she held out his pack.

-_So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn, there's vultures and thieves at your back...-_

"You left this," she said.

He gently reached out to take it from her. "Thanks," he said softly, returning a small smile.

"How are you holding up?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he smirked. "Nothing to worry about."

-_And the storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lie that you make up for all that you lack...-_

Her eyes darted back and forth between his. Then she closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around him, laying her cheek against his shoulder. His eyes closed as he held her to him... It was only for a moment, then he pulled gently away, taking her hand in his and leading into the apartment.

-_It don't make no difference, escaping one last time...-_

They didn't speak as they sat down on the couch, but he rested his head on hers as she held his hands. And their gaze fell on the glowing screen in front of them, though neither of them were watching it, really.

_-It's easier to believe in this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees...-_

She felt his breath change as he held back the tears that wanted traitorously to fall, and she pulled away to look at his face. His eyes were red and glassy and didn't focus on hers until her hands went to his face, trying to give him the strength he needed; trying to take away his fears and uncertainty.

_-In the arms of the angel, fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel...-_

She leaned in closer and kissed him; kissed his lips, then his cheek, his forehead. His eyes drifted closed as the tears unwittingly streaked down his cheeks. It took everything in her not to cry with him. She pulled him back to her and let his head rest on her shoulder.

_-You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...you're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here...-_

**tbc...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Song: Matt Brouwer's version of I Shall Believe**

***~.~***

Tony woke up on the couch at 0600. He remembered drifting off to sleep while Ziva was still there the night before. But now she was gone. He shivered from the loss of body heat as he sat up and stretched. Glancing up at the television, he saw it was still on and the news played softly with nothing of interest to him. But he left it alone as it broke the silence in the room.

His eyes fell to the coffee table and saw a piece of paper with writing...a note:

_ Went home to change. See you at work._

_ -Z_

The corner of his mouth turned up slightly as his thumb grazed over the indentations caused by her writing. Somehow, he felt better this morning. He didn't know why.

He stood from the couch, folding the paper as he walked through his bedroom and into the bathroom. He set the folded paper on the sink and turned on the shower.

*~.~*

Ziva tapped the eraser of her pencil rapidly against the small pile of papers on her desk. Gibbs and McGee were down in Abby's lab and it was nearing 0800. She glanced over at Tony's empty desk and back at her screen as she watched for new email.

The elevator sounded behind her and she didn't turn around, but she knew it was Tony. She set her pencil down and began typing on her keyboard as a relieved grin curled the corner of her mouth.

"Morning, Zee," he said quietly as he entered the bullpen setting his pack down next to his desk before walking around it to sit.

"Sleep well?" she asked. He smirked.

"Got any of that antacid left?" he asked. She pulled open the drawer at her desk and grabbed the blue bottle, tossing it in his direction. "Thanks," he said when he caught it and pulled open the top. He put the bottle to his lips and tipped it up.

"Breakfast of champions, DiNozzo?" Gibbs commented as he entered the bullpen and sat at his desk.

"Had that this morning, Boss," he said as he replaced the cap. "This is just to keep it down." He turned to throw the bottle back to Ziva, but she held a hand up.

"Keep it," she said, and turned back to her screen. Tony went right to work as he opened a file. He'd read halfway down the page when he heard a sound from his computer and looked up at the screen. A new email alert; he clicked to open it.

_ 'Nerves, or medication?'_ it read. He glanced at Ziva before hitting reply. After typing and sending, he looked back down at the paperwork.

'_Meds,'_ was the reply she received when she opened the email. She glanced up at Tony and saw him looking at his phone. He was searching through the caller ID.

"Expecting a call?" Gibbs asked, and Tony looked up at him.

"Yeah, actually," he said. "Took a rapid results test when I went back to Bethesda yesterday. Thought they'd call by now. It's only supposed to take twenty minutes. I expected them to call yesterday, but..." his eyes drifted back down to the phone. Gibbs nodded out of his view and glanced at Ziva as she pretended to be busy at her desk.

"They tell you why you needed a second test?" Gibbs asked him.

"Not exactly," he replied, glancing briefly at him, then to Ziva, before looking back down at the papers. Gibbs decided to drop the subject.

*~.~*

"It's late," Gibbs said looking at his watch. It was only six, but they'd been writing reports all day. "Wanna grab something to eat?"

This surprised Tony and he looked up at Gibbs. "You mean, order something?" he asked and glanced at Ziva.

"I mean go out and get dinner," he replied. "All of us. My treat." McGee looked up at Gibbs, then Tony and Ziva. Stunned, but not unexcited, the corners of his mouth turned up.

"Sure," Tony said. "Guess I'm kinda hungry."

"You have not eaten all day," Ziva commented.

"I had breakfast," he retorted. "And I even kept it down." She smirked at him. "Where we goin', Boss?" Gibbs cocked his head as he thought.

*~.~*

Tony nursed the one beer he was allowed as he glanced down at his cell for the fiftieth time that evening. Gibbs glanced at him for the fiftieth time as he cut into the small amount of steak left in front of him. Though the bar was noisy, their table was relatively silent.

His intentions had been to keep Tony's mind off the phone. But as he looked around the table, he noticed the worried glances he received from Ziva and Tim as they lazily pushed their food around their plates. Ziva excused herself to go to the bathroom.

Gibbs set down his fork and knife and prepared to swallow the food in his mouth and say something, but Tony's cell rang. He didn't even bother to wait for the caller ID.

"Hello?" he said, and plugged his other ear with his finger. "Hol- hold on, lemme go outside. Too loud in here," he stood from the table, glancing briefly at Gibbs and McGee before heading toward the door.

"Think that's Bethesda?" McGee turned to ask his boss. Gibbs shrugged a shoulder and picked up a napkin to wipe his mouth. He threw it down onto his plate and pushed away from the table.

"Gonna find out," he said as he looked out at Tony who was simply standing outside, facing away from the bar now; his phone at his side.

*~.~*

Tony slipped his phone into his pocket and looked down at his hands. Suddenly Gibbs was at his side. "Am I awake?" Tony asked without looking over. Gibbs squinted at him in question. "That was Bethesda," he told him and glanced over at his boss. "They said it's negative. Tryin' to figure out if I'm just dreaming. Don't wanna get my hopes up and wake up and be wrong."

Gibbs reached over and smacked him upside the back of the head, and Tony straightened, but was suddenly relieved. A smile spread across his face as his boss smirked at him. "You know all the right things to say, Boss." Gibbs laughed at that.

"Come eat your damn steak before it gets cold," he said as he headed back into the bar. Ziva was just sitting back down at the table as Gibbs approached. Her eyes glanced toward the door as Tony came in.

"Marty!" Tony shouted to the bartender and the room hushed a bit as they looked over at him. "Next round's on me!" the crowd cheered at the agent.

"What's the occasion, Tony?" Marty yelled back.

"I'm not gonna die!" he grinned wildly with a laugh. And it was only moments before Ziva had pushed her way through the crowd and threw her arms around him. It felt like he'd done it a thousand times before as he picked her up off her feet and spun around before setting her down again. She pulled gently away as she began to lead him back to the table.

Tony glanced at the waitress who brought McGee a large, multicolored drink. "What'd you order, Probie?" McGee smirked at his question.

"Just trying to get some kinda return on that twenty-five bucks I lost." Tony squinted at him. Gibbs smirked as he took a sip of his beer...

*~.~*

"You didn't have to drive me home, Ziva," Tony said as they entered his apartment. "I just had the one beer."

"I know," she said as she set her keys down on the coffee table. "That is not why I drove you," she walked back over to him and stunned him by pulling his head down to hers and kissing him.

His back gently thudded against the wall and his hands rested on her hips. Her tongue prodded between his lips and caused him to moan against her mouth as the kiss deepened. He felt her hands leave his face and go to the collar of his shirt, seeking the buttons that began there, and unfastened the top two before he pulled his face away. His breath was slightly labored as he looked into her eyes.

"Zee...you sure you wanna do this?" he asked. The corner of her mouth turned up as she continued unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes never left hers. She gently peeled away the shirt from his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She shoved off her jacket and took his hand to lead him to the bedroom. She reached over to the light switch. "No," he told her, and she looked back at him in question. "Leave the lights on," he pleaded.

She understood his request and her eyes darted back and forth between his. But he sensed something wrong when he looked at her. Her eyes fell to his chest. "What's wrong, Zee? We don't have to do this."

She put her hands on his chest and looked into his eyes again. "I want to do this," she told him.

"Then why are you afraid?" he looked at her with uncertainty.

She breathed for a moment, closing her eyes. He could feel his heart pound and ache in his chest. She was afraid of him...

She opened her eyes and read the uncertainty on his face. "I am not afraid of you, Tony," she reassured him. "I am afraid of what you will see..." He was confused by her words, and his brow furrowed. She turned away from him, reaching under her shirt to unclasp her bra, then reached down to the bottom of her shirt and pulled both articles from her body.

She heard his sharp intake of breath when he saw what she'd revealed to him. Tears welled in her eyes and she couldn't turn around to face him...

Tony reached out to touch the offensive scars that covered her back...so many more than he would have once his healed. Her eyes fluttered closed at the feather light touches, trying desperately not to flinch away. "This was the thing you were talking to Gibbs about," she heard him say. And he watched her as she nodded. "I'm so sorry, Zee," his voice cracked.

She spun around to look at him. "Do not apologize for things you did not do," she swallowed at the intensity in his eyes.

"Is that what you were afraid to show me?" he asked.

She looked at him for a moment before she replied. "I did not want to scare you away," her gaze fell back down to his chest. But he lifted her chin so she would look at him again.

"Don't ever think that," he said, his voice low. "You're beautiful, Zee. Don't ever think that I would feel any different," his hand went to her cheek and stroked it lightly, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Promise you won't," he said, and his eyes stung, remembering the night not so long ago that she'd asked him to make a promise to her.

She let out a small sob as she recalled the same. And he asked her again, in barely a whisper, "Promise me." she nodded as she wiped away the tears from her face, and pulled his head back down to her as she kissed him.

It seemed like mere moments before he felt himself being led to the bed. The back of his knees hit the mattress, causing him to reach out to grab her waist as he fell to a sitting position on the end of the bed. When he opened his eyes, her bare chest was in front of his eyes, and he looked up at her face as she blushed. Her eyes closed as he placed a tender kiss on the skin between her breasts; his hands unmoving at her waist.

She took his hands and moved them to her breasts as she bent down to kiss him again, pushing him down to lay on the bed. The feeling of her nipples tickling his palms as he moved his hands went straight to his groin, and as if on cue, she ground her hips against him and he groaned deep in his throat.

His hands moved from her chest and around her back, down to her waist as he pulled her against him, thrusting his hips up at the same time. And he groaned again, pulling away from her mouth and looking at her closed eyes.

_There's no one else here...it's just us...just you and me..._

She opened her eyes to look at him, sensing his wandering thoughts. Her hand went to his cheek as she laid her weight down on him, causing the bare skin of their chests to meet. "Do not leave me, Tony," she said in barely a whisper. "We are here, together...there is no one else."

"I don't wanna hurt you," he said shakily.

"No...no..." she panicked as she stroked his face with both hands, trying desperately to reassure him. "You have never hurt me, Tony...remember?" she blinked back tears, hoping he would understand...hoping to pull him back from the pit he was falling into again...

She gently rolled off of him onto her side, holding tightly to him so he would face her on the bed. "Please don't be afraid of me," her voice cracked and snapped him back to reality. His hand came up to gently graze her cheek...

_-Come to me now, and lay your hands over me...will you find me tonight? Say it will be alright, and I shall believe...-_

"I'm not afraid of you, Zee," he told her, searching her eyes. "I'm afraid of _me_..." his whispered words stung her heart.

_-Broken in two, and I know you're onto me; that I only come home when I'm so all alone...but I still believe...-_

"_I_ am not afraid of you," she said in just as soft a whisper. "You saved me from so much, Tony...please... don't push me away _now_..." He hadn't intended on pushing her away...he didn't know what was happening in his head. All he knew was that he loved her and he didn't want her to go...

_-That not everything is gonna be the way you think it oughta be...It seems like every time I try to make it right, it all comes down on me...Please say, honestly, you won't give up on me...and I shall believe...-_

He pulled her to him in an embrace, intending just to hold her close. He didn't want her to feel that he was pushing her away. That was the last thing he'd ever want to do. She snuggled into his chest, accepting the gesture, and breathed in the scent of him. Her eyes closed and her fingers absentmindedly drew circles on the skin over his ribs.

His stomach muscles fluttered under her touch and his eyes closed. But he allowed her to continue. It felt good. She felt good.

_-Open the door and show me your face tonight...I know it's true, no one heals me like you...and you hold the key... Never again will I turn away from you...I'm so heavy tonight, but your love is alright __and I do believe...-_

When she felt his heartbeat quicken, she chanced to place a kiss upon his chest where she'd drawn circles; long and slow. And she felt his hand gently at the back of her head. She dared to move her mouth closer toward the tiny bud at his breastbone, and when he didn't protest, she took it in her mouth and felt his breath hitch and quicken. But his hand held tightly to her head, willing her to continue her task...

_-Not every thing is gonna be the way you think it oughta be...it seems like every time I try to make it right, it all comes down on me... Please say, honestly, you won't give up on me...-_

She wanted to go lower, but decided against pushing him too far. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel as if he had no choice. But she was uncertain how to make him want this as much as she did.

She pushed herself up so her face was next to his, and his eyes opened and looked disappointed that she'd stopped. She squinted at him, trying to understand what exactly was going on in his mind. But then he spoke; softly, but intently as his eyes searched hers.

"Tell me what you want," it came as barely a whisper, but it made something unfold inside her and her breath rushed from her lungs. Her mouth went to his, devouring him as her hand went down between them to open the front of her pants. Then she took his hand and pressed it to her chest, slowly moving it down.

"I want you," she said, pulling her face away just slightly, "To touch me," she kissed him again as she guided his hand down to her folds.

"God..." his jaw clenched as the slick heat his fingers met, causing him to painfully harden against his zipper. Suddenly, everything else had left his mind. It was just Ziva...just them. She gasped as his fingers pressed against her, searching, caressing. She wasn't afraid to allow sounds escape her throat now; something she didn't allow herself to do in captivity.

He rolled them so that he was on top of her, still touching her; feeding from the sounds he elicited from her. His mouth crushed hers, devouring each sound until they built in octave, and he felt her going over the edge. Tony pulled his face away enough to watch her face as she came.

Her eyes were closed and her face flushed; a faint smile played on her lips as she came back to reality. And when she opened her eyes, she saw him looking at her, and his eyes had never been so dark; his face so serious and intense, so aroused. The way he was looking at her made her heart jump in her throat.

Her hands went to his face as the corner of her mouth curled up at him, "Is that all you have for me, DiNozzo?" she said playfully. He couldn't help but return the smile as his hand retreated from between her legs and he propped himself up with it next to her, pressing his hips against hers to _show_ her exactly what else he had for her.

With an appreciative moan, she pushed him up from the bed so they could stand as she stepped out of her pants. And he watched her, suddenly dumbfounded again. There she stood; completely exposed in front of him. And all he could do was look at her...

"Did you forget how this works?" she asked with a devilish grin, her hands lightly prodding the button on his pants.

"I love you," he replied, his hands grazing so lightly at her sides. Her grin turned soft and warm and her hands crept up his belly as she looked into his eyes.

"I love _you_," she told him as she stepped up on her toes to kiss him again. Her hands spread over his neck and she curled her knuckles, allowing her nails to gently graze the skin behind his ears as he deepened the kiss. She would let _him_ be the one to decide when to go any further.

And as if he'd read her mind, he went quickly to work removing his pants; the sudden lack of restriction, causing him to sigh against her mouth. He couldn't help but to cup the curves that met the tops of her thighs as he pressed himself against her.

She gasped, her arousal suddenly renewed, and she spun him around again, slowly guiding him down on the bed until he lay flat on his back. She crawled seductively until she was straddling his waist, and she hovered over him until his eyes focused on hers again. "Do you want me?" she whispered her question.

He breathed; his obvious arousal barely grazing hers. "God yes," he answered, and she sank down over him, eliciting an overwhelming guttural sound from his throat. His eyes clamped shut as he thrust against her, burying himself completely. For an excruciating moment, they stayed like that; afraid to move and end it all at once. She opened her eyes and looked at him as he held back, his breaths coming in short bursts through his nose as he tried to maintain his control.

"Tony, look at me," she said, and he complied. "I want to hear you." Her words were followed by a kegel squeeze and he groaned deep in his throat.

"I'm...not gonna last if you keep doing that, Zee," he said through his teeth. She grinned deviously and repeated the action, moving up and down slowly as she did. He stilled her, his hips betraying him as he thrust up into her again. "God..." he frantically pulled out and pinched the base of his penis in effort to delay his orgasm.

She growled as she watched his face concentrate on his task. No one had ever done this for her before. And she was never more turned on in her life. She watched him as she sat up, kneeling over him, waiting patiently for him to be ready again. When he opened his eyes and let go of himself, he met her eyes. "Bad girl," he said, grinning at her. She smirked, and felt his legs bending under her, spreading her legs farther apart.

She took his cue and guided him into her again, leaning back ever so slightly. The angle made her eyes flutter closed and she felt his hands slide up her thighs until they rested on her hips. She looked at him as she began a steady rhythm. He met her every thrust with his.

He pulled himself up to take her left breast in his mouth, suckling gently and flicking it with his tongue as his thumb reached down to her exposed bundle of nerves between them. His free hand served only to support his position as he allowed her to rock on him. The noises that mingled with her breath grew louder and her head tilted back as she screamed his name almost inaudibly.

He flipped her onto her back and her eyes flew open at him as he thrust back into her. It took her a moment to come back from her release, and his mouth was on hers again. He could still feel her pulsating around him, and he buried his face in her neck as he tried desperately not to allow himself to end it.

"Tony," she breathed, "Do not hold back..." she pulled her knee higher on the bed, and felt him start to lose control. His thrusts became harder and she could sense his closeness. "I want to see you," she squeaked as her hands sought his face and brought it in front of hers.

His eyes, mere inches from hers, were only open for a moment before he went over the edge; his voice held back no emotion with his release. And his forehead then rested upon hers as he rode out the remaining spasms...

When their breath returned to them, they opened their eyes and it felt like they were seeing each other for the first time. And maybe for the millionth time.

Tony thought of a thousand things he wanted to say in that moment as he picked his head up and searched her eyes. But he settled on one. "Wanna sleep over?" he smiled. She laughed, and he laughed with her...

**6 weeks later...**

"Drop your weapon!" Gibbs yelled with his gun aimed. Bethesda had been the final stopping grounds for an emotionally unstable Marine whom they'd been trying to catch up with for two weeks now. He'd left a trail of dead members of his squad. and one in intensive care in this very hospital.

It didn't take long for DiNozzo to make the suggestion that the bi-polar Lieutenant Commander would come back to finish the job. But by the time they'd found him, he'd taken a nurse hostage and brought her up to the roof of the building.

None of them had a good shot, as he'd bunkered himself against the cement housing for the top of the staircase leading up. The nurse was forced to shield him from the team of agents that surrounded him.

"You drop _yours_!" he yelled, "Or she dies!" the Marine held his ground.

"Take it easy, Sam," Gibbs said, "You don't have to put another murder on the list," he held his hands up, taking his aim away from the man before him. Tony, Ziva and McGee stayed ready though, off on either side of them.

"They got what they deserved!" Sam shouted, tears streaming his face. There was no logic to his claims. He'd gone off his meds weeks before this started. It had made him paranoid and delusional. Accusing his teammates of conspiracy and the death of his only brother. But in reality, his fallen loved one had perished in Iraq in the line of duty.

They'd given the man's story a chance, following up on his claims. But nothing made sense...nothing fit. He was wrong. But there was no convincing him of that, and they would have to play into his delusions to save the life of the woman he held.

"I know you did what you felt you had to do. But the woman you're holding now...she's innocent," Gibbs said calmly. "Do you wanna kill an innocent woman, Sam? Was this part of your plan?"

The man searched the air around Gibbs, uncertain and afraid. "I want to leave here," he said. "I want to go home!"

"You can't do that, Sam. You killed four people. Doesn't matter what they did."

"I did it for Kevin!" he cried.

"You think he wants you to kill this woman, too?" he furrowed his brow at him. Tony glanced at Ziva who stood on the other side of Sam. All they needed was for him to lean back, and they'd have a shot. But right now, if either of them tried, they would hit the nurse as well. "You kill her, and you're gonna take a bullet, Sam. You think your brother wants you to die up here?"

Sam cried, clearly anguished at the mention of his brother. The nurse's eyes fixed somewhere in the distance. She was afraid, but she knew that panicking would do her no good. So she stood there in his grasp, waiting for the moment she could slip away.

"Don't make your mother bury another one of her sons," Gibbs said, and Sam met his eyes again.

"What's gonna happen to me?" he asked. Gibbs squinted.

"You're gonna go get help, Sam. That's what you need, isn't it?" The troubled man nodded through his tears and loosened his grip on the nurse. She hurriedly ran from him and over to the stairwell. Her sudden movement caused Sam to panic and hold his weapon up at Gibbs.

"Put it down, Sam!" Tony yelled. McGee repositioned his aim from behind his boss.

"Okay! Okay!" Sam slowly lowered the gun and Ziva made her move to tackle it away from him. Tony turned the man up against the cement housing and pulled his hands back to cuff them.

"Guess Probie gets lunch tomorrow," Tony quipped with a grin as he holstered his weapon.

"You really should stop making bets with him," Ziva told Tim.

McGee squinted in their direction. "I didn't make it," he defended, "I was conned into accepting it."

"What the hell was the bet?" Gibbs asked, curiously, as they started down the steps; Tony in the lead with Sam, and Ziva behind Gibbs as McGee trailed behind them.

"Tony bet that you could talk him down in under five minutes," Ziva explained.

"When did you make this bet, exactly?" Gibbs asked the agent in front of him.

"On the way up, Boss," Tony answered, cautiously as they kept moving.

"Sorry, Boss," Tim said. "I didn't exactly refuse to believe you could do it..."

Gibbs smirked out of his view. "Medium rare," he said. McGee got a confused look.

"Uh...what, Boss?"

"How I take my steak, McGee," he replied. Ziva grinned and laughed through her nose.

As they approached the nearest level they could exit the stairway onto a floor with an elevator, Tony pulled open the door, waiting for the rest of them to descend the stairs.

"Steak sounds good to me," Tony smirked.

"I would prefer a philly cheese sandwich," Ziva added. But then suddenly she felt strange, and she stopped short on the steps, gripping the railing.

"Zee?" Tony said when he saw her stagger. Gibbs turned around as she began to fall over, and he caught her in his arms.

"Ziva!" he shouted to her as he gently lowered to the floor. "Tony, get him outta here," he motioned to Sam. "McGee, go get a doctor!" McGee rushed past Tony through the door, and Gibbs saw the panicked look on Tony's face as he looked down at Ziva from where he stood. "Go, DiNozzo! I've got her..."

**tbc...**


	12. 11

"McGee," Tony called out to his partner after nurses rushed into the stairwell. Tim spun around toward him. "I need you to take him," he motioned to Sam.

"Gibbs told me to-"

"Please, McGee..." his eyes pleaded with him, and Tim could sense the panic in his voice. His brow furrowed as he walked toward him. Tony seemed out of breath.

"You okay?"

"I just... please take him..." McGee grabbed Sam's arm and Tony nodded in appreciation. He watched as Tony moved toward the stairwell and stopped as a gurney was wheeled in before him.

As McGee entered the elevator with Sam, he turned and saw Ziva being wheeled out of the stairwell on the gurney. Gibbs walked out after them, turning to see Tony, and glancing at McGee as the elevator door closed...

"What'd they say, Boss?" Tony asked Gibbs as his hands planted on his sides.

"They don't know yet," he answered, noticing his agent was having trouble breathing. "You okay, Tony?"

"I don't...I don't understand," he breathed; his hands falling to his knees as he hunched over in effort to capture his breath back. "What's happening to her?"

"Calm down, DiNozzo," he said, leading him to sit in a chair that sat against the wall next to the stairwell entrance.

"Sorry, Boss. Don't know... Think I might be-"

"Having a panic attack?" he asked as he sat next to him. Tony looked at him in question. "Ducky told me about what happened with your tests," he told him. "Just gotta calm down."

"Trying," he said as he looked down at the floor. He was embarrassed, but mostly afraid of the uncertainty of what had happened to Ziva. Gibbs watched his agent as he began to regain control of his breathing. A nurse came into his view carrying a cup of water, and Gibbs accepted it for Tony and nodded to her.

"Here," Gibbs touched his shoulder as he handed him the water.

"Thanks," he replied. He took a small sip of the liquid and set the cup down in the empty seat beside him. His hands now free, he rubbed them over his face as he leaned back in the chair.

"Feelin' better?" Gibbs squinted at him. Tony's hands fell to his lap.

"I gotta tell you something, Boss," he said without looking at him. "I kinda broke one of the rules..."

"Number twelve," he replied, knowingly. Tony looked over at him in surprise. Gibbs cocked his head.

"We were careful not to let it show..." he argued.

"I know," Gibbs smirked.

"Then how did you...?" Tony stopped short of his question when he met Gibbs' eyes. "Right," he looked back down at his lap. He should have known better than to think they could hide anything from him. He let out a small laugh as he reached into his suit coat. "I had this big dinner planned tonight," he said as he pulled a small black box from his inside pocket and fondled it in his hands. Gibbs glanced down at it before looking back at his agent's face. "Little Italian food, some Merlot," he swallowed, opening the box. "I know how you feel about marriage, Boss," he let out another small laugh. "But, I was gonna propose to her tonight..."

It was Gibbs' turn to swallow. He watched as Tony picked the small circle up in his fingers. It was white gold, to match the color of her necklace she'd never take off. Tony's smile faded as his eyes focused somewhere past the ring. "What if the test was wrong?" he asked in barely a whisper. Gibbs felt a pang in his chest. "What if my results were wrong and I made her sick?" he looked over at his boss.

"Abby did some double-checking of her own," Gibbs told him. "You know her; she wouldn't leave a rock unturned." He looked at Gibbs for a long moment. "We've been working pretty hard for the past couple of weeks. She might just be over-tired."

"Maybe..." he looked back down as he placed the ring back in the box and closed it up, sticking it back in his coat pocket. "What do I do now?" he asked no one in particular.

"You wait," he answered, "And you do what you planned on doing." Tony looked back over at him.

"What? You're _encouraging_ me to propose?" he smirked. Gibbs returned the smirk and looked away in front of him.

"Can't stop you." Tony grinned and looked down at the floor. "I don't think I'd trust anybody else with her," he said and looked back over at him. Tony met his eyes, once again surprised at Gibbs' words. His eyes darted back and forth between his boss's. He couldn't think of a nicer thing he'd ever said to him.

But before he could respond, a doctor came up to them and his line of sight focused up at him. "Are you the two agents who were here with Miss David?" he asked.

"Yeah," Tony replied, and both agents stood up. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine for the moment," he said. "Seems she lost consciousness for a little under three minutes. Her blood pressure was a bit low, which concerned us. We're running some blood tests while we try and find her a room."

"Can we see her?" Gibbs asked.

"It's probably best if we let her rest for a while. She gave us two numbers; one for an Anthony DiNozzo and for a Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Is that you two?"

"Yeah," Tony answered.

"If you wanna head down to the cafeteria, I'll have my nurse call you when we have a room for her."

"Okay," Gibbs replied and turned to Tony as the doctor walked away. "C'mon. I'll buy you a cup of coffee."

*~.~*

McGee had finished processing the Lieutenant Commander and was sitting at his desk, trying to fill out a report on the day's incidents. But his mind kept wandering to the agents that weren't there in the bullpen with him.

He had been standing behind Ziva when she started to fall. He cursed himself for not responding quickly enough to reach out and catch her himself. He was worried about her. And Tony...the look on his face at the hospital...It seemed like they'd just gotten past all the chaos, and now it was returning. They'd seemed so happy that morning...

*~.~*

They sat there at the small table near the back of the cafeteria. Gibbs observed the people coming in and out of the room as Tony tapped the outside of his half-empty Styrofoam cup. Both of their phones were on the table, and every few minutes they would press a random button to light up the screen and check for calls.

Gibbs pondered the possibility of calling Ducky. Tony desperately tried not to think of what could possibly be wrong with the woman he loved. Both of them were becoming impatient.

"I don't think I could possibly hate anything more than waiting," Tony said. Gibbs smirked.

"War?" A look of question was brought to Tony's face at his boss's statement. "Gift shop has cards." But just as the thought of the game peaked his interest, his phone rang.

"DiNozzo," he answered. He looked at Gibbs as he listened to the nurse on the other line. "Thanks," he ended the call and stood. "Second floor," he told him, and they headed to the elevator.

*~.~*

Ziva sat up in the hospital bed, quite aggravated that she had to be there. She was even more upset that they had made Tony and Gibbs wait around holding their breath instead of letting them see her. She had already put her clothes back on after they were finished drawing blood for the second time. Now she was waiting for them to let her leave.

"Zee?" Tony walked into the room with Gibbs and she looked over.

"How ya feelin'?" Gibbs asked as he approached the end of the bed.

"I am fine. I am sorry they made you wait," she explained as she swung her legs off the side of the bed where Tony stood.

"You should lie down," Tony told her as she looked at his worried eyes.

"Tony, I am fine," she argued. "I skipped breakfast, and left my coffee on my desk when we ran out this morning."

"You always skip breakfast." She squinted at him, but her focus changed to the doctor that walked into the room with a clipboard. Tony turned at the same time as Gibbs, to look over at the man who'd entered the room.

"Miss David," he said, "I'm Dr. Reed. I have some test results for you." He glanced at the men in the room, "If you gentlemen would care to step out..."

"They can stay," she said, partly because they deserved to hear what he had to say, and partly because she was afraid to hear it alone. The doctor nodded after a moment and approached the bed.

"Your blood-sugar level was fairly low, which is why you fainted."

"Like I said, I skipped breakfast."

"You really shouldn't," the doctor retorted. "Especially with what we found to be the cause." He glanced around the room briefly before continuing. "Are you sure you want me to give you this news with them in the room?" Tony felt his heart skip. Ziva nodded after glancing at Gibbs. "Well, Miss David, we ran several blood tests, and only one thing came up positive." They all held their breath. "You're pregnant."

The doctor continued talking, explaining that she should set up an appointment with an OBGYN, and that he'd send her home with prenatal vitamins. But she could barely hear him. None of them could. Tony was looking directly at her, though her focus was on his chest, astonished and amazed...dumbfounded really, at the doctor's revelation.

Gibbs was speechless, just the same as his agents, as he looked back and forth between them. She had not so long ago told him she couldn't conceive. This was the last thing he'd expected to hear. And though this would change everything, he couldn't help but to feel elated for her.

Tony exchanged a frightened glance with Gibbs as the doctor walked out of the room. Ziva still hadn't responded to the news. Gibbs squinted for just a moment before turning to walk quietly from the room to give them a moment.

When Tony looked back at Ziva, she was looking up at him. Her eyes were glassy, and searching his. "Are you angry?" she asked quietly. He blinked rapidly as he immediately shook his head.

"I thought...I thought you couldn't?" he said in a small voice.

"I did not think this was possible," her voice shook as a tear threatened to spill. His hands went to her cheeks. His mind raced with his heart and he couldn't help the smile that started to burst from within him. And when she saw it, she was relieved; a smile appearing on her own face. The tears fell to her cheeks and he embraced her.

"Zee," his voice cracked as he spoke in pure joy. "We're...we're gonna have a baby," he pulled away, excitedly. His hand slid down to her belly as if he'd find something that wasn't there the night before. She watched his face intently as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Then he pulled away and reached into his suit coat. "I was gonna save this for tonight, but..." he pulled the small box from his pocket and knelt down in front of her, opening the box. Her heart jumped as she realized what was happening, and before he could ask her, she slipped from the bed into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Yes," she cried happily, "Yes...yes," she squeezed him tighter and felt his arms go around her. "I love you, Anthony DiNozzo..."

"I love you, Ziva David..." he smiled against her ear. "Ziva DiNozzo," he tested the name. She laughed as she gently pulled away so she could kiss him. Then she felt him sliding the ring onto her finger and she looked down at it. "I know it's not much," he said. "I wanted to get you the biggest rock they had, but I couldn't wait that long to save up..."

"It is perfect," she said, and met his eyes again.

"Hospital floors are filthy," Gibbs said and they looked up at him as he walked into their view. "You gonna let the future mother of your child stay down there?" They both scrambled to their feet. Ziva's cheeks flushed pink as she looked up at his glare. But then he smirked and pulled her into a hug. "Congratulations, Ziver," he said, and kissed her forehead as he pulled away.

He looked at Tony, and Tony flinched as his hand came up and smacked him in the back of the head, lightly. "Don't mess it up, DiNozzo."

"You have my full permission to shoot me if I do," Tony replied. Gibbs turned away and headed for the door, a smirk playing on his lips...

**End.**


End file.
